Texts From Last Night

[Ted]

(858): I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.

(415): So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

Spit coffee on monitor :rofl:

 

[ChiefApache]

(415): So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

OMG that is funny!

 

[MattBMiller]

(858): I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.

:rofl::rofl:

 

[jayboat]

(858): I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.

All time, hall of fame classic. :reddevil:

 

[Ratickle]

There's gonna be a lot of yucky envelopes flying around now......:ack2:


Glad I'm not a mailman.......

 

[03darkshadow]

All time, hall of fame classic. :reddevil:

i've read it like 10 times, its still funny.. :rofl:

 

[redhotsommer]

(616): She acts like you when your on meds
(510): She acts like batman?

Thought this one was pretty awesome!

 

[LaughingCat]

(208): We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.

 

[LaughingCat]

(973): my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from

(903): I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
(214): It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.

 

[LaughingCat]

(281): So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

(606): His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
(1-606): You really need to stop ****ing dudes who still live with their parents.

(707): so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?

 

[ChiefApache]

(616): She acts like you when your on meds
(510): She acts like batman?

Thought this one was pretty awesome!

Yes it is! :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

 

[LaughingCat]

(334): i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
(1-334): so you're single again?
(334): yea but it was worth it

(847): Just so you know, I have a bf.
(405): I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.

(603): Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?

 

[LaughingCat]

(847): Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
(708): We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.

 

[Wrinkleface]

(208): We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.

Bob, where's Bob????/:biggrinjester:

 

[insanity]

(912): So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
(1-912): Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
(912): Someone who wants to read the newspaper.

 

[Spicy]

(858): I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.

:26: :sifone:


That is great!!!!!!!!!

 

[LaughingCat]

This site just keeps on giving. . .

(662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

(859): I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

(480): just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
(1-480): i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
(480): k i'll be over in 5.

 

[insanity]

(859): I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

LOL! Whore would be an understatement. But you gotta love em!!

 

[LaughingCat]

(405): There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.

 

[Trim'd Up]

good stuff. Another one of my must see sites.