Tiger Jokes

[DollaBill]

What's Tiger Woods' best Pickup Line?


Hi, I'm Tiger Woods

hahahahaha. Nice

 

[clayinaustin]

Why did Tiger run over a fire hydrant and into a tree?

He wanted to hit both a wood and an iron.

 

[clayinaustin]

The new prenup agreement...

The standard sentence for aggravated assault with a weapon in Florida is up to 5 years in prison along with a $10,000 fine.

Luckily, Elin Nordegen was able to plea bargain for 2 years in a 30 room mansion along with $60,000,000 in spending money.

 

[THEJOKER]

Elin Nordegren asked her marriage counselor why, next time, she should go after Tiger with a 9-iron instead of the 3-iron she used the morning after thanksgiving?

The counselor said “Because, now you’re closer to the green.”

Good one!

 

[clayinaustin]

The first time she picked up a club in anger, Elin Nordegren shot up to #2 on Golf's All Time Money Winning List.

 

[clayinaustin]

Why did Bill Clinton call Tiger Woods the day after Thanksgiving?

He wanted to arrange a foursome. :sifone:

 

[OldSchool]

So, the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly… but put me down for a 5.":sifone:

 

[cuda]

Wilt Chamberlain says he went to be with 30,000 women. :cheers2:

 

[Tommy Gun]

Tiger has alot of really nice cars...now he has a hole-in-one.

 

[Tommy Gun]

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing

 

[Tommy Gun]

It was just reported that Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger!

 

[RedDog382]

He's not Tiger anymore ... now he's a Cheeta'

 

[catastrophe]

What does Tiger Woods and Baby Seals have in common??

They've both been clubbed by Norwegions.

 

[Quinlan]

Thats not right:cheers2:

 

[dykstra]

:ack2:

 

[JupiterSunsation]

Did you hear Tiger's wife cheated?


Cop asked how many times she hit him and she said 4 when it was really five.....

 

[JupiterSunsation]

Have you heard about Woods's new movie?





It's called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

 

[Boss252]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these *****es would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

 

[catastrophe]

He's in all the mags

 

[Audiofn]

Well a few more women came out today. We are almost up to Tigers 18 holes!