Sunday Funny

Bobcat

Founding Member
Subject: YOUNG IRAQI FOOTBALLER



The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play
football, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

>> Two weeks later Liverpool are 3-0 down to Man Utd with only 30 minutes
>> left.

>> The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.

>> The lad is a sensation, scores 4 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for
>> Liverpool .

>> The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the
>> media love the new star.

>> When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about
>> his first day in English football.
>> 'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were
3-0 down but I scored 4 and we won.

Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'

'Wonderful,' says his mum,

' Now let me tell you about my day.

Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped and
beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and your cousin has been arrested for receiving drugs, and all while you were having such great time.'

The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry.'

'Sorry?!?! Sorry?!?!' says his mum,

'It's your bloody fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place !!!!!'
 
Misinformed suicide bomber,

THE ALLAH CODE OF THE WEST-- An 18-year old suicide bomber blew
himself up and appeared before Allah.

He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, I have a request. Since I'm
only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never
was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what
to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?"

Allah regarded him for a moment then replied, "Actually, the 72
virgins are here in heaven because *******s like you murdered them
before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So, you're here to
service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous;
and, frankly, you'll be on constant exhausting duty."

"The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can handle with that. How hard
can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?"

And Allah replied, "Who said they were women?”
 
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