Sunday Funny

[Bobcat]

Subject: YOUNG IRAQI FOOTBALLER



The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play
football, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

>> Two weeks later Liverpool are 3-0 down to Man Utd with only 30 minutes
>> left.

>> The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.

>> The lad is a sensation, scores 4 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for
>> Liverpool .

>> The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the
>> media love the new star.

>> When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about
>> his first day in English football.
>> 'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were
3-0 down but I scored 4 and we won.

Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'

'Wonderful,' says his mum,

' Now let me tell you about my day.

Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped and
beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and your cousin has been arrested for receiving drugs, and all while you were having such great time.'

The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry.'

'Sorry?!?! Sorry?!?!' says his mum,

'It's your bloody fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place !!!!!'

 

[Shockwave]

Misinformed suicide bomber,

THE ALLAH CODE OF THE WEST-- An 18-year old suicide bomber blew
himself up and appeared before Allah.

He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, I have a request. Since I'm
only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never
was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what
to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?"

Allah regarded him for a moment then replied, "Actually, the 72
virgins are here in heaven because *******s like you murdered them
before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So, you're here to
service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous;
and, frankly, you'll be on constant exhausting duty."

"The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can handle with that. How hard
can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?"

And Allah replied, "Who said they were women?”

 

[Ratickle]

Shockwave's got you Bobcat......