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Oklahoma National Guard cancels truce with Quebec
- Thread starter T2x
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T2x
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Provocative statements like yours have caused bigger wars than this I'm afraid. Beware of a single man yellow submarine when boating in the future
T2x
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Dateline......... Kneivel Bayou, MD 9/9/09
The U.S. Coast Guard reported that all of its resources in the Mid Atlantic area have been involved for weeks in a battle with what apparently is a contingent of the Oklahoma National Guard. "We were on routine patrol back here in the bayou, when a bunch of Guardsmen opened fire on us." said Captain Stipton "Stippie" Cummersley, Regional Adjutant Commander of the Chesepeake and environs. "They keep calling us "frogs" and hurling tomatoes and dishes at our cutters." The Captain added "Fortunately they apparently ran out of live ammo in a melee at a Gay Summer camp in Georgia a few weeks ago. Unfortunately they also admitted half of the "campers" into their ranks with amazing results." He continued "Now every time one of our sailors walks on deck, he is greeted with whistles, and blown kisses from the camper recruits, and fusillades of tomatoes from the original Oklahoma group." "My men don't know whether to laugh or return fire." he sighed. Of greater concern is the fact that the Coast Guard has been unable to answer routine inquiries and provide adequate safety and border patrol services for the extended length of this conflagration.
"We have been in touch with Generals in The Arkansas National Guard, who apparently have experience with this kind of behavior from the Oklahomer's in past years" "They suggested that we hire some skywriters and paint "This ain't Quebec you Jackasses!!!!!!" across the sky", but our attempts have been thwarted by high winds and intermittent fog." "The best we could display read something like "Saint Quebec's Molasses"..... and that just made them more convinced that this was the U.S-Quebec border!"
The Captain , who was obviously agitated and suffering from sleep deprivation, was asked what outcome might be hoped for. He responded wearily "I'd like to bomb them back to the stone age....but they're apparently already there." He then walked away whistling the chorus to the old 50's ditty "Alley Oop-Oop-----Oop-Oop".
-reported by Sincerity Shampoo, left leaning correspondent for CNN imbedded in (and sleeping with) the Chesepeake Division of the U.S. Coast Guard.
The U.S. Coast Guard reported that all of its resources in the Mid Atlantic area have been involved for weeks in a battle with what apparently is a contingent of the Oklahoma National Guard. "We were on routine patrol back here in the bayou, when a bunch of Guardsmen opened fire on us." said Captain Stipton "Stippie" Cummersley, Regional Adjutant Commander of the Chesepeake and environs. "They keep calling us "frogs" and hurling tomatoes and dishes at our cutters." The Captain added "Fortunately they apparently ran out of live ammo in a melee at a Gay Summer camp in Georgia a few weeks ago. Unfortunately they also admitted half of the "campers" into their ranks with amazing results." He continued "Now every time one of our sailors walks on deck, he is greeted with whistles, and blown kisses from the camper recruits, and fusillades of tomatoes from the original Oklahoma group." "My men don't know whether to laugh or return fire." he sighed. Of greater concern is the fact that the Coast Guard has been unable to answer routine inquiries and provide adequate safety and border patrol services for the extended length of this conflagration.
"We have been in touch with Generals in The Arkansas National Guard, who apparently have experience with this kind of behavior from the Oklahomer's in past years" "They suggested that we hire some skywriters and paint "This ain't Quebec you Jackasses!!!!!!" across the sky", but our attempts have been thwarted by high winds and intermittent fog." "The best we could display read something like "Saint Quebec's Molasses"..... and that just made them more convinced that this was the U.S-Quebec border!"
The Captain , who was obviously agitated and suffering from sleep deprivation, was asked what outcome might be hoped for. He responded wearily "I'd like to bomb them back to the stone age....but they're apparently already there." He then walked away whistling the chorus to the old 50's ditty "Alley Oop-Oop-----Oop-Oop".
-reported by Sincerity Shampoo, left leaning correspondent for CNN imbedded in (and sleeping with) the Chesepeake Division of the U.S. Coast Guard.
T2x
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Dateline Washington DC................... 9/9/09 1:15 PM
A spokesman for the Obama administration, ex-Chicago gang banger Linoleum Muhammed, announced today that the White House is taking "swift, decisive action" in dealing with the "outrageous" battle currently waging between the United States Coast Guard and the Oklahoma National Guard in Maryland. The President is "personally and on behalf of the American people" apologizing to the President of Iran, the King of Saudi Arabia, and the North Korean and Chinese People's Republics for these and other "shameful intimidation tactics" perpetrated by the United States both today and in past decades. The President, responding to "viscious smear tactics" from the far right, average taxpaying citizens, mothers, policemen, and other "fringe radical elements", stopped short of using the term "Great Satan" when referring to the U.S. Early draft texts of his speech included this label as well as frequent use of the term "infidel swine" when referring to "the dogs and jackals who used to run this country". Obama's spokesmen fervently disavowed any knowledge by the President of that version of the speech and placed the blame for the miscue on Tire Inflation Czar, Charles Manson....who when reached by phone at Leavenworth ...immediately resigned his post. Mister Obama did refer to Mister Manson, when questioned, with the categorical statement that he has used so successfully in the past..."I have no idea how he got into my administration, and that's a fact." This seemed to satisfy network anchors Katie Colic and Charles Glibson, but Oprah Windmill is scheduling a live interview with "Charlie" as his followers call him. "I think it's time we gave Mister Manson his release" she gushed. "After all , he's paid his debt to society, and the White House needs his passion."
In a separate conversation the President was asked why he didn't simply order the two segments of the U.S. military to stand down and return to their respective HQ's. "Can I do that?" he replied while searching nervously about for some kind of detailed printed response. The assembled, adoring reporters then reminded him of his title as Commander-in-Chief of the U.S. Armed Forces, to which he replied: "I am?...well how about that!"
More at 11..........
- Reported by Gilmartin Peevish, (PNN)Pravda News Network
A spokesman for the Obama administration, ex-Chicago gang banger Linoleum Muhammed, announced today that the White House is taking "swift, decisive action" in dealing with the "outrageous" battle currently waging between the United States Coast Guard and the Oklahoma National Guard in Maryland. The President is "personally and on behalf of the American people" apologizing to the President of Iran, the King of Saudi Arabia, and the North Korean and Chinese People's Republics for these and other "shameful intimidation tactics" perpetrated by the United States both today and in past decades. The President, responding to "viscious smear tactics" from the far right, average taxpaying citizens, mothers, policemen, and other "fringe radical elements", stopped short of using the term "Great Satan" when referring to the U.S. Early draft texts of his speech included this label as well as frequent use of the term "infidel swine" when referring to "the dogs and jackals who used to run this country". Obama's spokesmen fervently disavowed any knowledge by the President of that version of the speech and placed the blame for the miscue on Tire Inflation Czar, Charles Manson....who when reached by phone at Leavenworth ...immediately resigned his post. Mister Obama did refer to Mister Manson, when questioned, with the categorical statement that he has used so successfully in the past..."I have no idea how he got into my administration, and that's a fact." This seemed to satisfy network anchors Katie Colic and Charles Glibson, but Oprah Windmill is scheduling a live interview with "Charlie" as his followers call him. "I think it's time we gave Mister Manson his release" she gushed. "After all , he's paid his debt to society, and the White House needs his passion."
In a separate conversation the President was asked why he didn't simply order the two segments of the U.S. military to stand down and return to their respective HQ's. "Can I do that?" he replied while searching nervously about for some kind of detailed printed response. The assembled, adoring reporters then reminded him of his title as Commander-in-Chief of the U.S. Armed Forces, to which he replied: "I am?...well how about that!"
More at 11..........
- Reported by Gilmartin Peevish, (PNN)Pravda News Network
C_Spray
Charter Member
The gloves are coming off now. Reports are coming in that the Oklahoma National Guard is sneaking into the homes of Quebec citizens at night and shaving the women's armpits. Husbands are reported to be dazed and confused when it no longer appears that their wives have hamsters living under their arms.
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glh
Charter Member
I don't think shaving has been invented in Oklahoma yet.
They are to busy traveling back and forth to their out-houses, churning butter and getting their leechings from the two which doctors in the state...
glh
Charter Member
As a gesture of goodwill in order to appease the fighting bad blood developed between those two fine backwards inbreeding commonwealth I ventured north this weekend with the rig in order to participate in joint Naval exercises.
Here we are progressing along side Quebec's finest Navy Hardware.....
Here we are progressing along side Quebec's finest Navy Hardware.....
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T2x
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As a gesture of goodwill in order to appease the fighting bad blood developed between those two fine backwards inbreeding commonwealth I ventured north this weekend with the rig in order to participate in joint Naval exercises.
Here we are progressing along side Quebec's finest Navy Hardware.....
Quebec's Navy is sponsored by Drambuie??????
Now it all starts to make sense...no wonder the Quebec naval pledge starts with "Wine, Women and Song....OOOO La La!"
By the way.....I love your pontoon boat.
T2x
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