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Oklahoma National Guard cancels truce with Quebec over "Sea Doo" incident.
Dateline Tulsa....
July 10th 2009... 9:00 AM
The Oklahoma National Guard has once again mobilized all units and is preparing for a major offensive against the Province Of Quebec.
After a shaky truce lasting almost 4 years the Oklahoma National Guard is once again preparing for a full scale attack on Quebec.
For history see http://www.offshoreonly.com/forums/bilge/76660-oklahoma-quebec-war-update.html
A boating incident in Maryland involving a yacht, "Sea Doo For Dad", tentatively identified as belonging to an heir to the Bombardier family fortune, has set off a series of reversals in the shaky treaty between a primarily rural southwestern state and the French speaking Canadian province. "Them A-Rabs ain't gonna get away with this again. Everytime we turn around they're either dissing the National Anthem at Hockey games or speeding through our waterways!!! It's all part of the big terrorist stuff that's been goin' on for too long!!" said Major Nelson Quicktemper, Oklahoma's highest ranking Guard officer, and a one quarter Cherokee (as most of the state's population claims to be) . "The last time we let 'em off easy when our boys got lost near Memphis in that adult dance club!" he added. When reminded that Quebec is a French Canadian Province and not an Arab country he shouted: "What's the difference, they're all Muslims or Haitians anyhow ain't they?"
The past conflict was resolved when legendary football coach, Barry Switzer, acting as an intermediary, helped recruit a player from Quebec, Pierre "The Frog" Fondue, an amazing athlete who starred at OU for three seasons before being expelled after trying to "fertilize eggs" during the womens' swim team practice at the University pool. "I don't care if Switzer finds 100 Heisman trophy winning Iguana's in Montreal, this time we mean to destroy them terrorists!" Quicktemper shouted. The Major then asked bystanders where exactly Quebec is. "We know it's on the other side of Arkansas, but we had some trouble with directions the last time."
On a related note the Governor of Arkansas, Stuart "Stinky" Pile was quoted as saying..."Here we go again... I really wish those dumb*sses would declare war on California for cryin' out loud! Then New Mexico could deal with all the drunken yahoos!"
The Governor of New Mexico, Cuthbert Desitin, would only say "Go Sooners!" in response.
More at 11:00
Dateline Tulsa....
July 10th 2009... 9:00 AM
The Oklahoma National Guard has once again mobilized all units and is preparing for a major offensive against the Province Of Quebec.
After a shaky truce lasting almost 4 years the Oklahoma National Guard is once again preparing for a full scale attack on Quebec.
For history see http://www.offshoreonly.com/forums/bilge/76660-oklahoma-quebec-war-update.html
A boating incident in Maryland involving a yacht, "Sea Doo For Dad", tentatively identified as belonging to an heir to the Bombardier family fortune, has set off a series of reversals in the shaky treaty between a primarily rural southwestern state and the French speaking Canadian province. "Them A-Rabs ain't gonna get away with this again. Everytime we turn around they're either dissing the National Anthem at Hockey games or speeding through our waterways!!! It's all part of the big terrorist stuff that's been goin' on for too long!!" said Major Nelson Quicktemper, Oklahoma's highest ranking Guard officer, and a one quarter Cherokee (as most of the state's population claims to be) . "The last time we let 'em off easy when our boys got lost near Memphis in that adult dance club!" he added. When reminded that Quebec is a French Canadian Province and not an Arab country he shouted: "What's the difference, they're all Muslims or Haitians anyhow ain't they?"
The past conflict was resolved when legendary football coach, Barry Switzer, acting as an intermediary, helped recruit a player from Quebec, Pierre "The Frog" Fondue, an amazing athlete who starred at OU for three seasons before being expelled after trying to "fertilize eggs" during the womens' swim team practice at the University pool. "I don't care if Switzer finds 100 Heisman trophy winning Iguana's in Montreal, this time we mean to destroy them terrorists!" Quicktemper shouted. The Major then asked bystanders where exactly Quebec is. "We know it's on the other side of Arkansas, but we had some trouble with directions the last time."
On a related note the Governor of Arkansas, Stuart "Stinky" Pile was quoted as saying..."Here we go again... I really wish those dumb*sses would declare war on California for cryin' out loud! Then New Mexico could deal with all the drunken yahoos!"
The Governor of New Mexico, Cuthbert Desitin, would only say "Go Sooners!" in response.
More at 11:00