Contest!

[Chris]

Everyone loves a contest. And EVERYONE likes prizes.

Since our one-year anniversary is nearing, I thought we might get in the celebtratory mood by putting up some fun stuff.

For the next few weeks, we're going to do a Joe Offshore contest. We all know one- or more. Some of us are actually guilty of being Joe Offshore from time to time.

So, post your best "Joe Offshore" story. Extra points for pics. Best story wins. We've got videos courtesy of Freeze Frame as well as some posters. We've also got a box full of SeriousOffshore.com t-shirts.

 

[FastDonzi]

I'll tell you I have stood next to "Joe Offshore" Race Morning in line waiting for Physicals, and To hear the Sh*t talk about how he's gonna Hold it wide open, You'd think he was the Bestest EVER, then in reality I lap him "Twice":rofl:

 

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

This should make for some great reads.:lurk5:

 

[Offshoredrillin]

oh my.. I know but I wont say..I promised you I wouldn't start it up again...

 

[Ratickle]

Does it have to be completely true???????:sifone:


And I'm assuming no names allowed?????

 

[JupiterSunsation]

Any Active Thunder story running 75 in 6-9 footers......... :lurk5:

Any Apache story as long as hurricane winds/waves are involved and the story works better when the boat in the story is currently unrigged/in total disrepair and still asking 150K...... :sifone:

Any Triple Digits Story with 650HP running through an Alpha drive blowing Outerlimits/Fountains/Cigarettes away.......:rofl:

Any Gino vs. Pyburn thread.....:boxing_smiley:

Any Cat Killer story spun by Fountain media........

 

[Airpacker]

Hey now, I think I met the real Joe Offshore at the ramp one day. We were splashing Alecs 43 Nortech cat and he was telling me how his dads Bayliner Cobra Offshore could probably beat us in a race

 

[Chris]

If you want to use names, just be sure it's true- or at least sounds true. If they're dead, all bets are off.

In all seriousness, if it's good-natured, names are OK. My favorite stories to hear from friends are about some of the stupid $hit I've done.

 

[OldSchool]

My favorite stories to hear from friends are about some of the stupid $hit I've done.

:sifone::sifone: I had at least six of those just this year!!!

It all started in Febuary when this jackazz named Chris convinced me that it would be fun to run from Fort Liquordale to Miami at night in 6 footers and then on to Islamorada the next morning in the backseat of a Gladiator. That back seat was a piece of plywood that was covered by vinyl....:ack2::boxing_smiley::moon::banghead::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I'll take an XL. Bring it this weekend!!:sifone:

 

[phragle]

this one time...at boat camp.......

 

[Geronimo36]

How about watching your friend almost die in front of you... You can send me the t-shirt cause I've seen it twice now...

Sorry, I don't have any stories cause they're all true!

 

[cigdaze]

I once watched a guy at the marina show up, get his boat launched, fueled up, packed and ready to go and then proceed to try and get his motors started for nearly an hour and a half. After needing a break from my waxing, I crawled down from my boat and asked him what the trouble was? "Dunno, they crank over fine, and they ran great last month" he says. I asked him if it was both engines? "Yep, neither will start," he tells me. So I ask him if his kill switches were off.

Sure enough, that was the problem. Both fired up in a heartbeat after that and off he goes. 35 Formula, circa 2005 or 2006.

This goes out to him, I salute you Mr. Joe Offshore.

 

[DollaBill]

I wouldnt know where to start. decades of stories. I have pics to accompany some

 

[sellsman11]

this one time...at boat camp.......

Beat me to it.:sifone::sifone:

 

[Knot 4 Me]

Knew of a guy that had to drive his buddy's Offshore with twins for the first time after the buddy was otherwise temporarily detained. Guy offered to drive said buddy's boat to a mutual friend's house and dock it for the evening. Guy could not get the boat to plane for anything and labored it at almost full throttle for a few miles to the mutal friend's home. Later that evening the boat owner met up with the guy and his boat at the mutal friend's house. Guy tells the story of how he could not get the boat to plane and how it just plowed all the way to the house. The boat owner asked if he had started both motors. Guy said yeah, I turned the key on and fired the motors. You got it, the guy thought one key started both engines. When the boat owner quizzed him what in the hell he thought the other key was for the guys said he had no idea. Here's you sign Joe Offshore...

 

[Tony]

True Story:
A few years back I was buzzing around Sunshine Key in a jet boat watching some guy try to drive a 34 Powerquest. Judging from the way the thing was plowing water he had to have the tabs completely burried I ran beside him @ 50mph. for quite a while. Back at the marina I stopped at the dock to talk to the guy (about 50 full chest of white hair sporting a gold chain. The coversation goes as follows.

Nice boat, what kind of power?

Well there 454s but theve got work done to em, if ya know what I mean.

Yeah, it looked like it was running strong out there, how fast were you going?

Well about 95, but I was only at half throttle, if you catch my drift.

WOW! thats pretty fast.

Then he says, Im a world famous offshore raceboat driver but I stopped racing a few years ago becase it was too boring. At that point I walked away laughing my azz off all the way up the dock.

 

[phragle]

How about watching your friend almost die in front of you... You can send me the t-shirt cause I've seen it twice now...

Sorry, I don't have any stories cause they're all true!

Been there done that, but he did actually die in my arms.... but that belongs in the joe-desert racer thread...

 

[phragle]

True Story:
A few years back I was buzzing around put in bay in a jet boat watching some guy try to drive a 25 nova. Judging from the way the thing was plowing water he had to have the tabs completely burried I ran beside him @ 50mph. for quite a while. Back at the marina I stopped at the dock to talk to the guy (about 50 bald, white goatee sporting a gold chain. The coversation goes as follows.

Nice boat, what kind of power?

Well there 454s but theve got work done to em, if ya know what I mean.

Yeah, it looked like it was running strong out there, how fast were you going?

Well about 95, but I was only at half throttle, if you catch my drift.

WOW! thats pretty fast.

Then he says, Im a world famous offshore raceboat driver but I stopped racing a few years ago becase it was too boring. At that point I walked away laughing my azz off all the way up the dock.

It was a pleasure meeting you Tony, but Im not that old....... and the pld nova will do well over 100 (when tied to the back of gino's mti...)

 

[03darkshadow]

was anchored out watching some hydroplane races a couple weekends ago. everyone is anchored having fun enjoying beverages. some clowns (about 10) in about a 20ft center console fishing style boat, it was old. he decides to trim the engine all the way out and nail it, which shot water way in the air. and soaking people (who i guess were his friends) on a 20ish stingray performance boat. then he lowers the engine, drives off a little way and does it again. this isn't a slight rev, its full throttle bounce off the limiter. im laughing my a$$ off hoping that the guy blows his chit up so i can go point and laugh.



Or there are the stories of watching people coming in to the marina late at night drunk trying to dock their boats.

 

[boatme]

True Story:
A few years back I was buzzing around Sunshine Key in a jet boat watching some guy try to drive a 34 Powerquest. Judging from the way the thing was plowing water he had to have the tabs completely burried I ran beside him @ 50mph. for quite a while. Back at the marina I stopped at the dock to talk to the guy (about 50 full chest of white hair sporting a gold chain. The coversation goes as follows.

Nice boat, what kind of power?

Well there 454s but theve got work done to em, if ya know what I mean.

Yeah, it looked like it was running strong out there, how fast were you going?

Well about 95, but I was only at half throttle, if you catch my drift.

WOW! thats pretty fast.

Then he says, Im a world famous offshore raceboat driver but I stopped racing a few years ago becase it was too boring. At that point I walked away laughing my azz off all the way up the dock.

What!!! you didnt believe me ???