(512): it hurts more in the daytime
Thread: Texts From Last Night
Results 121 to 140 of 1951
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- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Naples, FL
- Posts
- 1,702
06-22-2009 09:11 AM
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06-22-2009 12:31 PM
(202): I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What a tease.
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06-22-2009 12:36 PM
(609): i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
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06-22-2009 12:46 PM
(314): i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
(443): the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
(402): Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
(504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
(434): I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
(936): what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
(762): Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
(954): you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
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- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Posts
- 215
06-23-2009 01:34 AM(978): Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
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- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Naples, FL
- Posts
- 1,702
06-23-2009 08:22 AM(714): I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
(310): I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
(206): We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
(860): he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
(860): yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
(860): why can't men just shut up and put out?
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- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Naples, FL
- Posts
- 1,702
06-29-2009 07:39 AM(972): they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
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- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Posts
- 4,796
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- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- West Michigan
- Posts
- 37,497
- Blog Entries
- 44
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06-29-2009 12:01 PM
(6008): Spent thirty minutes trying to wee in a cup for my STD test. If only I got that shy with boys I wouldn't be in this predicament
(204): I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
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06-30-2009 12:47 PM
(905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I read that while eating my lunch...
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07-02-2009 10:32 AM
(206): when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
(415): I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
(510): I hope so
(905): Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
(865): we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
(865): and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
(862): Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
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- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Naples, FL
- Posts
- 1,702
07-02-2009 12:02 PM(508): even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
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07-06-2009 09:01 AM
Word to live by
(916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
(1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.