Great material.
Thread: Texts From Last Night
Results 21 to 40 of 1951
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05-04-2009 10:35 PM
I'll make her see the light... and then GOD !!!!
Treat every situation like a dog, if you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away.
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05-05-2009 11:22 PM
Hmm. Maybe she is haunting someone else these days.
Treat every situation like a dog, if you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away.
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05-05-2009 11:27 PM
(202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
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- Join Date
- Oct 2008
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- West Michigan
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05-06-2009 06:50 AMLooks like Mark got quoted......
(815): I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Labels: (815)Getting bad advice is unfortunate, taking bad advice is a Serious matter!!
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- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Naples, FL
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- 1,702
05-06-2009 02:35 PM
(978): I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
(858): I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
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05-06-2009 09:57 PM
(415): This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
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05-06-2009 10:01 PM
I saw one today from my previous area code.
Now that is kinda funny, because all I could do is think if it was someone I knew in the 859"Keep the bottle on the bar Ira, I won't be long".
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- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Posts
- 215
05-07-2009 01:11 PMMy contribution:
(318):We may b retaining ur services later...
(318-1)You can't afford me now that you aren't pregnant.
(318-1)Wait - are you still lactating? there might be a chance.
(318)I'm still fat. yea, & wierdly lactating... all you have to do is cry like a baby and out it comes. You r such a freak!
(318-1)OMG!!! That is the sickest **** I've ever heard! I am stopping by blockbuster and picking up a copy of old yeller and I'll be right there!
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05-14-2009 02:13 PM
(210): Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
thought you guys would like this one.
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- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Worldwide - Blue Martini Hall of Fame - Your sisters house
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05-14-2009 02:56 PMthat's one of my new regular stops am and pm. some seriously funny stuff there. I submitted this one
954 - "I'm spreading holiday cheer"
1-954 "and bacteria!"
from last xmas LOL
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- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Naples, FL
- Posts
- 1,702
05-14-2009 08:26 PMI can't stay away either...
(917): Um, that's called prostitution
(773): Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
(516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
(910): wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
(910): IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
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05-14-2009 08:36 PM
Stecz was caught as well:
(907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This reminds me of my younger daze:
(512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS ****.
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05-14-2009 10:25 PM
I died at this first one:
(913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
(724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
(502): ****. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!