How does this happen?

[DollaBill]

I just found out one of my best friends since we were in Kindergarten died yesterday. He fell into a bad scene with drugs after high school and never got out of the spiral.

In school he was state champion wrestler, had tons of friends and girlfriends and was pursuing a career in construction. Then him and his brother, another very close friend fell into Heroin.

I've been thinking of him for a while and actually started thinking about finding him this week somehow. Actually yesterday. Now he's dead and I also just found out his brother (my other high school friend) has HIV (don't know if AIDS yet) and is in another hospital.

I don't know what to say

[Airpacker]

I hear that Bill. I was out on the boat for a weeks cruising holiday in northern Georgian bay when I got a similiar call. School buddy, bright future in his family electrician business. Just got his electricians ticket etc. A year or so earlier, he started running with some real low lifes. Sure enough, they found him on a thursday ( pay day ) when he failed to show for work. Sitting in a chair in his desheveled apartment with the fricken needle still in his arm.

It happens. I don't know why anyone would ever try the stuff. Its not like no one knows what heroin does to people. Its know fact that the odds are you will die. Might be fast, might be slow but you will prolly die.

[Nova26]

Had a buddy of mine in High School just died from liver failure at age 36. We all party in high school and he never stopped drinking. It has some of my other buddies that hit the bottle hard rethinking things. One of them went mountain bike riding with me this week. Said he hasn't exercised since he was a teenager he's 41 and drinks Crown everyday hard. We are all getting older have to take care of our body's best we can. And I'm the best by no means but I try. Sorry to hear about your guys buddies.

[phragle]

always remember my friends, drug addiction and alcoholism are a disease, not a moral deficit. It is not about willpower. I too have lost close friends and have watched others on the downward spiral.

[Boatfreak]

I sing the song because I love the man
I know that some of you don't understand
Milk-blood to keep from running out

I've seen the needle and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkies like a setting sun....

One of Neil Young's best songs and one of my favorites as well.
I've had a brother hooked on the crap off and on for 20 yrs and he's still alive, in the pen in California, but alive. I've paid for every treatment you can think of and I don't know how much methadone but I would say when he gets out he will go back to it.

Dollabill I'm sorry about your loss.

[getchasum111]

i agree that it's a disease....you don't think about it like that when young....it starts out fun then before you know it your physically addicted....opiates are the hardest to get off of....not many every kick it...it kicks them...

[MarylandMark]

always remember my friends, drug addiction and alcoholism are a disease, not a moral deficit. It is not about willpower. I too have lost close friends and have watched others on the downward spiral.

+1

I went down a bad road for a while when I was younger. The only reason I never tried crack, herion or meth was because I never met a drug I didn't like.

Try to chase that 1st high each and every time after that 1st high.

Hope your buddy can find the peace in death that he couldn't find in life

[RumRunner]

I feel for you and your friend. I think we've all been touched by this in our own lives by now.

The only things we can really do:

1) Try to help friends and family whenever we can to get through the stuff that life throws at them.

2) Remember that we're all human and we all need some help.

3) Never regret missing a friend, but we should honor them. We should regret letting those down that are still here that we just don't have the time for. What's really so important that we don't have the time anyhow?

I heard something to that affect about a couple of months ago and since then have been in contact with a number of people I haven't spoken with in decades. I know I do feel better knowing that I've reached out.

[DollaBill]

You know, I can talk openly because I don't think I'm running for President or any other elected office soon. And besides, if I did I could win on the grounds of honesty LOL.

I've done a little partying, to put it mildly. I've never done heroin or meth. Not much scares me but they do. I've never seen anyone not get addicted and not implode. On the other hand, I don't get the "chasing" the first rush with the other drugs. I've had some pretty wild weekends in the past and after a few days I don't want to see anything but milk and cookies for a while. I guess everyones body/mind is diff.

Also just found out that he has no family left and therefore we (close friends) have to pay $12,000 for the funeral. You do what you have to but it sucks

[MarylandMark]

I never chased that 1st high either; just have seen many that did. I don't understand addiction- don't feel like doing it, then don't.

I would be like you- beat down and don't want to think about ever doing whatever it was again for a long time. Long time being a few days to a few years- just depended for me. I was the type that didn't go out looking for whatever it was I was doing- just at 1AM whatever it was sounded good and if I was around people holding and off to the races I went.

Today is kind of personal for me.

Francis Reidy III

He was my GF of the last 3 years brother who passed away 6 years ago today (obit says tomorrow which is wrong). He was in TN for yet another rehab stink, got messed up and stepped in to traffic. Cops said suicide but then reversed it to an accident. He was dating Carlene Carter- Johnny Cash's step-daughter who used his ID a month after his death to obtain prescription drugs. 6 months later my GF father gets a call from one of his employee's- her brother is on the show "True Stories from the Morgue". The reality TV showed close-up footage of his naked and battered body with a blocked out toe tag on, his face blocked out and a clear pitcher at his feet filling with his blood as they were doing his autopsy.

I never met him- died before I knew her. I'm waiting for her to get home so we can go say Hi to him. I've told her my allergies are acting up the last few days because my eyes are watery and puffy from crying like I am now knowing how much it hurts her him not being here.

Sorry for the detour Bill- cleared me up a bit to type so kept going (like I always do huh? LOL!) .

[DollaBill]

No detour Mark. I also don't understand addiction. Not saying it doesn't exist, just saying i don't "feel" that. I understand dependency. All too well. But that just takes a good soul search and you can move on.

[Sea-Dated]

Sorry for your loss Bill

[rainmn]

Bill, sorry to hear about your friend.

I never really understood drug addiction myself for a long time. I've had my share of fun over the years, and the worst thing I ever got addicted to was cigarettes. (which I finally quit a few years ago after almost 20 years of smoking.) Then one day it hit home....hard.

After ignoring the signs for a while that seemed so obvious after the fact, I found out one day that my Sister was an addict. That was what made me realize that it really can happen to anyone, at any time.

Fortunately, she made it through, and has been clean for a few years now. There was a period there for a while though where my heart would stop for a second every time my phone rang.

I'm pretty close with my Sister, and obviously know her well, and never saw this coming. She definitely made some bad choices to get herself started down that road, but I've learned that some people simply can't turn it around too easily once they start, if at all. I'm thankful that she was able to, with a lot of help and support from the family.

Again, sorry for your loss.

[bootdaddy]

Sorry to hear Bill.

Life sucks sometimes. Addiction is very real for many and others just don't get it or have strong will power. Hell - people can be addicted to anything...including alcohol, drugs, work, sex, boating...

One thing I know for sure is that with age and heavy use, the body fails to process alcohol the same way wreaking havoc on the body.

The best advice I ever heard that was "Drink little so ye can drink long!" Easier said than done.

[BY U BOY]

You know, I can talk openly because I don't think I'm running for President or any other elected office soon. And besides, if I did I could win on the grounds of honesty LOL.

I've done a little partying, to put it mildly. I've never done heroin or meth. Not much scares me but they do. I've never seen anyone not get addicted and not implode. On the other hand, I don't get the "chasing" the first rush with the other drugs. I've had some pretty wild weekends in the past and after a few days I don't want to see anything but milk and cookies for a while. I guess everyones body/mind is diff.

Also just found out that he has no family left and therefore we (close friends) have to pay $12,000 for the funeral. You do what you have to but it sucks

I would have to agree. I have done my fair share of hard partying and I mean hard. Done it all except crack,heroin,or anything that involved a needle. After a good weekend i just wanted to wipe the shame off and get some rest. Never did crave it and never chased a high. I can definitely see how someone could get "addicted" but for me it is easy to put it down and walk away.

Sorry to hear about you friend may he RIP.

[Perlmudder]

a good friend i went to high school with became a huge coke head / alchy when we entered university together. we use to go out a couple nights a week, and i would never see him sleep, he would sit on my couch and listen to music till the sun came up. we all told him it was starting to weird us out, but he wouldn't listen. took his parents kicking him out, a stint in rehab, and dating my ex gf to clean up. spoke to him on the street the other day and he said "why don't we go out partying anymore?". the easy answer was that I've been busy, truthfully, i just don't want to hang out with him anymore. hopefully he will stay quasi clean.

sorry for your loss bill, i know the feeling, had to go to my uncles funeral in buffalo today.

[DollaBill]

Thanks guys. While growing up it was always me, him, his brother and another guy. After HS we all went our own ways as is normal. So basically it's me and my friend Joe left (BTW he owns Mercedes Benz of Baton Rouge if anyone needs a deal). Unlike the "hi, how ya doin few minute conversations we've had for 20 years, we were able to talk and catch up for over an hour. And, we've made plans for a bunch of us to get together after the services and catch up.

It seems as though the opiate family of drugs are totally diff than others (blow, weed, etc) Anyone know anything about this?

[MarylandMark]

It seems as though the opiate family of drugs are totally diff than others (blow, weed, etc) Anyone know anything about this?

I don't know the medical stuff behind it but I've seen guys that can "blow" thru an inch cubed line for 20 years while keeping thier lives together and that have crashed and burned on opiates

[phragle]

they operate on different neuro receptors and have differnt rebound effects.

[JupiterSunsation]

I sing the song because I love the man
I know that some of you don't understand
Milk-blood to keep from running out

I've seen the needle and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkies like a setting sun....

One of Neil Young's best songs and one of my favorites as well.
I've had a brother hooked on the crap off and on for 20 yrs and he's still alive, in the pen in California, but alive. I've paid for every treatment you can think of and I don't know how much methadone but I would say when he gets out he will go back to it.

Dollabill I'm sorry about your loss.

For anyone who has never heard the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0t0EW6z8a0

Great tune.......