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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random **** he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    it was like having sex with a tree stump
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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    Charter Member MacGyver's Avatar
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    Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
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