What an email!
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )
I was the white guy with the black berry jacket that you
demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and
my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to
apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after
you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a
reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my
girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it
that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating
weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to
wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in
your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up
leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have
you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us
again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as
you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your
situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your
shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's,
along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet
itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be
on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel
recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a
little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that.
I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about
to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it.
Oh well.
So, about your pants; I know that I was a little rough on you when
you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it
up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like
to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you
used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or
powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll
reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be
so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch
and laundry. Peace! - Alex
Results 1 to 17 of 17
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01-23-2009 07:54 PM
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01-23-2009 08:07 PM
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01-23-2009 09:23 PM
what a thoughtful and compassionate citizen; perhaps a green certified detergent in keeping with the spirit of this age.
People we meet in life are either a Blessing or a Lesson
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01-23-2009 09:40 PM
Now that is some good stuff there. I sure wish I didn't live in a communist state without a right to carry law.
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01-24-2009 12:41 PM
"Best of Craigslist" rocks
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01-24-2009 03:28 PM
that's a good story. kind of like when someone does a nimrod move in their car and there happens to be an undercover cop in traffic. you see the moron get pulled over and everyone is cheering in their cars.
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01-25-2009 09:13 PMNever bring a knife to a gun fight...................
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01-25-2009 10:31 PM
thats some funny chit right there... pun intended.
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01-26-2009 12:41 AM
Let's just say I am not a big fan of the road patrols. I have NOT been pulled over in several years, I just despise the "revenue generation" mentality of todays Police Depts.
Like local cops setting speed traps on INTERSTATE HIGHWAYS. That IS NOT your job, quit praying on people trying to get on with life.
And the amount of all types of Fla LE that have gone to unmarked cars. That is complete BS. I realize UC work needs it, but I believe seeing is a deterrent. Plus, how can you flag down a cop when you can't figure out one is right in the parking lot.
Again. all about money, not civic duty.Treat every situation like a dog, if you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away.
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- Join Date
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01-27-2009 12:22 AM
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01-27-2009 12:32 AMTreat every situation like a dog, if you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away.
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01-27-2009 12:44 AM
the cash man is right on .......................MADD and F a gets are running the country......................................into the ground.2C
beer is food