Some very funny chit.
(813): dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
(757): I murdered the dance floor call the cops
(513): I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
(315): covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
(480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
(209): I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Thread: Texts From Last Night
Results 1 to 20 of 1951
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- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Naples, FL
- Posts
- 1,702
05-02-2009 06:36 PM
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- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Appleton, Wisconsin. Where we have 2 seasons... winter and road construction
- Posts
- 4,120
05-02-2009 06:53 PM(541): so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
(315): my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
(516): If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
(608): I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
(804): im drinking this country out of the recession.
(760): ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My favorite:
(330): cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Posts
- 1,125
05-03-2009 08:09 AMahhh this one made me choke on my coffee;
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
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05-03-2009 08:14 AM
THose oare good if you can some what relate to them. THey were funny
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- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Naples, FL
- Posts
- 1,702
05-03-2009 09:09 AMA veritable gold mine of new signature material.
(586): Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
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05-03-2009 12:14 PM
(505): We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
(505): The Rock won."Keep the bottle on the bar Ira, I won't be long".
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05-03-2009 12:17 PM
(518): Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
"Keep the bottle on the bar Ira, I won't be long".
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05-03-2009 04:26 PM
(617): Need ur aereola diameter
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05-04-2009 11:44 AM
(808): The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
(323): don't go home with that guy from jersey
(626): i know, not worth the blood test
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- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Naples, FL
- Posts
- 1,702
05-04-2009 01:17 PMSomething tells me that site is gonna be a great source of material.
(512): I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
(519): If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
(516): I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
(312): I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
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05-04-2009 01:25 PM
Let's get naked and see who's stronger....
I LOVE it! Hahahahahahaha!
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05-04-2009 01:48 PM
I hate you but I'm not IN hate with you....hahaha, for some reason I like that one.
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05-04-2009 01:55 PM
(815): Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
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05-04-2009 02:09 PM
(321): I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
"Keep the bottle on the bar Ira, I won't be long".
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05-04-2009 02:48 PM
(313): I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
(1-313): restraining order is on its way, crazy *****"Keep the bottle on the bar Ira, I won't be long".
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05-04-2009 03:02 PM
Man that made me laugh!
"Tear gas and draft beer don't mix."