phragle
04-16-2009, 04:49 PM
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/rnr/1121883465.html
Farting Neighbor at the Urinal - I almost fainted, dude..... (Stinkville)
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Reply to: pers-wxwk4-1121883465@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-14, 11:14AM CDT
Like others who post here, I am somewhat particular about my bathroom habits and hate public restrooms. But, when nature calls, it can't be avoided. So today, after a few cups of java, I get the call to go and just happened to be in a public place. Oh well, I'll just take care of business and quickly exit the dreaded public disgrace of the restroom. So I find the cleanest of the 3 porcelain urinals (one looked like it had grown a beard...sheesh) and began to relieve myself......quickly. And of course, some guy pulls up next to me, gives me a nod (c'mon, what are you saying - "Hey dude, going #1?? Me too!") and starts to relieve himself too and he suddenly lets out a loud and dramatic "AAAaaaaaaaaaaah" and begins his business. Oh great, I think to myself, one of those Mensa-rejects who have to announce loudly that they are doing #1......yay, like anyone was waiting is suspense to guess what is was you were doing standing in front of a urinal with your wang out. Your mommy is so proud of you I'm sure, Slingblade. Now, I admit, as picky and clean as I am, if I am alone and doing the stand up #1, I will let a let a air biscuit go if necessary. But if I am surrounded, I will try to keep it to myself as a courtesy to the fellow gentlemen around me. Not this dirtbag. This guy launches the atomic BigBoy of all farts. It started out like a loud growl and ended by sounding like someone throwing wet mud at a wall. Ugh...toss those Fruit of the Looms out! The crotch of those probably looked like a mixing bowl full of fresh brownie batter with choclate chips. But that wasn't the end. Oh Lord no! The fowl, wretched, rancid meat stench of that ass bomb had me seeing stars almost immediately. I started to cough and gag.........light a match, start a fan, something! Suddenly all the guys washing their hands (yes, some of us do) ran for the door in a near stampede. My vision was beginning to tunnel and I was afraid I wasn't going to stay conscious. What the hell did this guy eat?? Roadkill? A ****-Burger? A dead body? I have never smelled a fart like this........ever. I hurried my whiz, shook it once, and put my goodies away. I made a bee-line for the door, and as I left, I gave my heinous death-gas dealing neighbor a dirty look and made a gagging noise. 30 seconds more and I would have needed supplemental oxygen or brain cells would have been compromised.
So, to you, my foul, wretched urinal neighbor......get a colonic dude!!! I almost fainted. Sheesh.
Location: Stinkville
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1121883465
Farting Neighbor at the Urinal - I almost fainted, dude..... (Stinkville)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-wxwk4-1121883465@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-14, 11:14AM CDT
Like others who post here, I am somewhat particular about my bathroom habits and hate public restrooms. But, when nature calls, it can't be avoided. So today, after a few cups of java, I get the call to go and just happened to be in a public place. Oh well, I'll just take care of business and quickly exit the dreaded public disgrace of the restroom. So I find the cleanest of the 3 porcelain urinals (one looked like it had grown a beard...sheesh) and began to relieve myself......quickly. And of course, some guy pulls up next to me, gives me a nod (c'mon, what are you saying - "Hey dude, going #1?? Me too!") and starts to relieve himself too and he suddenly lets out a loud and dramatic "AAAaaaaaaaaaaah" and begins his business. Oh great, I think to myself, one of those Mensa-rejects who have to announce loudly that they are doing #1......yay, like anyone was waiting is suspense to guess what is was you were doing standing in front of a urinal with your wang out. Your mommy is so proud of you I'm sure, Slingblade. Now, I admit, as picky and clean as I am, if I am alone and doing the stand up #1, I will let a let a air biscuit go if necessary. But if I am surrounded, I will try to keep it to myself as a courtesy to the fellow gentlemen around me. Not this dirtbag. This guy launches the atomic BigBoy of all farts. It started out like a loud growl and ended by sounding like someone throwing wet mud at a wall. Ugh...toss those Fruit of the Looms out! The crotch of those probably looked like a mixing bowl full of fresh brownie batter with choclate chips. But that wasn't the end. Oh Lord no! The fowl, wretched, rancid meat stench of that ass bomb had me seeing stars almost immediately. I started to cough and gag.........light a match, start a fan, something! Suddenly all the guys washing their hands (yes, some of us do) ran for the door in a near stampede. My vision was beginning to tunnel and I was afraid I wasn't going to stay conscious. What the hell did this guy eat?? Roadkill? A ****-Burger? A dead body? I have never smelled a fart like this........ever. I hurried my whiz, shook it once, and put my goodies away. I made a bee-line for the door, and as I left, I gave my heinous death-gas dealing neighbor a dirty look and made a gagging noise. 30 seconds more and I would have needed supplemental oxygen or brain cells would have been compromised.
So, to you, my foul, wretched urinal neighbor......get a colonic dude!!! I almost fainted. Sheesh.
Location: Stinkville
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1121883465