Why men don't write advice columns

[SHARKEY-IMAGES]

Subject:

Why men don't write advice columns


Dear Walter,

I hope you can help me here.
The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the
neighbor's daughter. I am 41, my husband is 44, and the neighbor's
daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to
counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila



Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.

Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.
If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake
manifold and also check all grounding wires.
If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

Walter


This one may have been around before, but it was good enough to bring it back! :sifone:

[Sea-Dated]

Sounds like good advice to me

[Davidmnc]

Sounds like good advice to me

Yep!

[cigdaze]

Perfect. I think he covered all the major points.

[clayinaustin]

more advice...

Q: My husband wants a threesome with me and my best friend.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing there's only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing and thats your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you are still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totaly selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two(it's a great time to clean the house too!). Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him, then you cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris are.
A: Your clitoris are of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay for men is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is you do not love your husband as much as you should; he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you should make it up to him by performing oral sex and cooking him a nice meal

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one
A: I'm not sure i understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a great meal.