Funny movie one liners..........

[JupiterSunsation]

Ever seen a grown man naked.............


Does this involve me dressing up as little Bo Peep? No nothing of a sexual nature I assure you..........



Keep them coming

[Davidmnc]

And this one time at band camp.........................

[tommymonza]

Nothing personal Its just that we are better than you.

[cigdaze]

That's what I love about these high school girls, man, I get older, they stay the same age.

[cigdaze]

Hey, Ma! The meatloaf! We want it now! The meatloaf! Ma! The meatloaf! Fvck!!
:D :D

1bMs04JK0BQ

[LotoSteve]

Yaa but I never ****ed anyones daughter.

[cigdaze]

Sorry man I didn't know she was your daughter.
Ya, but you knew she was somebody's daughter!
:D

[JJ Apache]

"God created man, Man created dinosaur, dinosaur eats man"
"Woman enherits the the Earth... "




Jurrasic Park..

[Perlmudder]

I'm not sorry! I'm a cocksman!

[clayinaustin]

Forrest Gump tells Jenny about his adventures and how beautiful everything looked.

Jenny says, "It sounds wonderful, Forrest. I wish I was there."

Forrest replys, "You were."

It's not exactly funny, but it's the best line in the entire movie. :D

[BBB725]

"Where'd it go? In the lumber yard Danny"

[BBB725]

Kitty Russy vinny did I get a hold of that one

[clayinaustin]

Rodney Dangerfield in Caddy Shack.

Hey! You scratched my anchor! :p

[Cash Bar]

Porch Monkey...

Don't worry, I'm taking it back. :)

[clayinaustin]

every other line in the movie Airplane :cool:

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Elaine Dickinson: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.
Ted Striker: What is it?
Elaine Dickinson: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.

Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Rumack: I won't deceive you, Mr. Striker. We're running out of time.
Ted Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
Rumack: I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley.

Operator: [Captain Oveur is on the phone with the Mayo Clinic] Excuse me, Captain Oveur, but I have an emergency call on line 5 from a Mr. Hamm.
Captain Oveur: Alright, give me a Hamm on 5, hold the Mayo.

The entire movie is nothing but one liners! :D

[Boss252]

From Talladega Nights:

Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said..."I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."

[DollaBill]

First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the hwiemen - Scarface

[Tony]

A few from Idiocracy.

My first wife was tarded- shes a pilot now.

Welcome to Costco, I love you.

Go away, Im bait'n

[Dude! Sweet!]

A few from Idiocracy.

My first wife was tarded- shes a pilot now.

Welcome to Costco, I love you.

Go away, Im bait'n

Just watched that movie the other night. Funny until it starts to get a little too real... :D

[Dude! Sweet!]

RR worker: They told me you was hung!!
Sherriff: And they'd be right.

[Seafordguy]

Dumb and Dumber.

I thought the Rockies would be a lot Rockier - that John Denver is full of ****.....

I laughed so hard the first time I heard that...

[cigdaze]

A few from Idiocracy.

My first wife was tarded- shes a pilot now.

Welcome to Costco, I love you.

Go away, Im bait'n

You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.

Don't worry scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.

I'm not guilty!
That's not what the other lawyer said.

Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y'know?
I don't really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.

[Obama:] Sht. I know sht's bad right now, with all that starving bullsht, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

There was a time when reading wasn't just for f@gs.

Comin' up next on The Violence Channel: An all-new "Ow, My Balls!"

[phragle]

phuck you, you phuckin, phuck

blue velvet

[Tony]

I was already in prison, that guy sat on my head and everything. WHAP! your in the wrong line Dumbass.

[clayinaustin]

RR worker: They told me you was hung!!
Sherriff: And they'd be right.

Blazing Saddles! :D

[Dude! Sweet!]

Mongo just pawn in the game of life...

It's true! It's true!

Sampeding Cattle, through the Vatican, kinky, I like it...

Blazing Saddles indeed... That movie kills me. There isn't a part of it that's not funny.

[Boss252]

Tommy Boy

"I could get a hell of a good look at a T-Bone steak by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it."

"Ever since I was a little kid, you people have been like a family to me. Louis, we built our first fort together. And Danny, remember when we used to burn ants with a magnifying glass? R.T., I lost my virginity to your daughter, for crying out loud. Rob, you were there."

[DonziGirl]

Hackers (love that movie! yes I know it's old)

Kate Libby: Never send a boy to do a woman's job.

Cereal Killer: Spandex: it's a privilege, not a right.

Finding Nemo
Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?
Marlin: No I don't wanna know.
Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
Marlin: Dory, no singing.
Dory: [continuing] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim.
Marlin: Now I'm stuck with that song... Now it's in my head.
Dory: Sorry.

Dory: I saw a boat.

Marlin: I can't afford any more delays and you're one of those fish that causes delays. Sometimes it's a good thing. There's a whole group of fish . They're delay fish.

[LaughingCat]

Nicky Santoro: [voice-over] A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half-hour to forty-five minutes worth of digging. And who knows who's gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all f'in night.

[DollaBill]

Nicky Santoro: [voice-over] A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half-hour to forty-five minutes worth of digging. And who knows who's gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all f'in night.

My younger son is named after Nicky. :sifone:

[phragle]

Heathers......... this movie had some classics



I think you can. Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table and now it's your turn to take the helm.


Oh, don't worry. I'll ask you to do me a favor. That will be one you'll enjoy. Then you'll get the negatives and everything back then. But in the meantime... strength. Here's a little gift.

You blow it tonight, girl, and it's keggers with kids all next year.

Grow up Heather, bulimia's so '87

Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?

Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

The extreme always seems to make an impression

Holy Mary who art in Heaven pray for us sinners... so we don't get caught

Dear Diary, my teen-angst bull**** now has a body count

Well, **** me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings.

It'd be so righteous to be in a Veronica Sawyer/Heather Chandler sandwich

Oh, hell yes. I wanna set a Heather on my Johnson and just start spinnin' her around like a goddamn pinwheel

[bluellama]

RR worker: They told me you was hung!!
Sherriff: And they'd be right.


Blazing Saddles ...... :sifone:

Edit:
Damn Clay beat me to it, should have read page 2 ..... :D

[bluellama]

I'm proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself thrust into the middle of vicious cockfight.

[stecz20]

"Fu ck me, FOCK YOU"!!!!!! ill remeber the movie....lol

[bluellama]

F#ckin Chrysler plant, here I come .....

[bluellama]

Ever been to the Palm Isle, F@cked a barmaid there once. Nipples like little rocks ....

[jhenrie]

Ever f#ck a fat guy in a overcoat?

[Dude! Sweet!]

She was an underwater specialist, wearing a see through wet suit...

You'd better get that kid a haircut or he'll have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson!

Hey Hannerhan! Suzanne sucks p*ssy! She's a lesbian! I know...

[bluellama]

This is a very deep cut....

[Dude! Sweet!]

What with the trial, the litigation, his subsequent deportation to Canada and that country's refusal to accept him... this is more than most 21 year olds have endured...

Ogel-torp...

[bluellama]

The fans are standing up to them! The security guards are standing up to them! The peanut vendors are standing up to them! And by golly, if I could get down there, I'd be standing up to them!

[LaughingCat]

My younger son is named after Nicky. :sifone:

One of the best movies of all time. IMO

[JupiterSunsation]

Tommy Boy.....David Spade........Take off that itchy robe oh thats right, nobody's looking, its naughty time.....speaking of nobody's lookin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzYKIpmPOOs

[JupiterSunsation]

Shooter.......Levon Helm
It would have been a bad job to take.....that is how a conspiracy works, them boys on the grassy knoll were dead within three hours buried in the desert.....

You know this for sure?

I still got the shovel....................

[03darkshadow]

From the movie Anchorman..

Brick.. I DONT KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT.

Brick... I stabbed a man.

and this made me laugh my ass off

"Years later a doctor will tell me i have an IQ of 48 and am what some people would call mentally retarded"

"uhh yeah i ate a big red candle"

KakinPNRiDc

[Tommy Gun]

"I'll only put it half way in...."

from an amatuer video; unforunately my 8mm projector doesn't work anymore.

[Edward R. Cozzi]

One of my personal favorites from Caddyshack: "Hey Schmellz, my dinghy's bigger than your whole boat".

[seebeagle]

from Johnny Dangerously;You bunch of farging icewhole bastages,sum of botching cork suckers

[seebeagle]

Smokey and the Bandit;"Snowman,by the time you get that dog back in the truck,you can put the hammer down cause that smokey would have already gone by you"

[seebeagle]

Liar,Liar: "I'm on my knee's in a $900.00 suit"

[stecz20]

Who the fu ck cares? I'll dig the fuc kin' hole. I don't give a fu ck. What is it, the first hole I dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I'll fuc kin' dig a hole. Where are the shovels?

[stecz20]

I thought he'd never shut the fu ck up.

[cuda]

From Talladega Nights:

Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said..."I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."


Chip, I'll be on you like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew.:)

[boatme]

Crying? There's no crying in basball!

[boatme]

Badges, we dont need no stinking badges

[Wrinkleface]

I thought he'd never shut the fu ck up.

We wish U would!!!!!!:26::seeya:

[Offshoredrillin]

"Dieing ain't much of a livin"

[DonziGirl]

We're sorta like 7-Eleven. We're not always doing business, but we're always open.


Connor: [picking out weapons and gear] Do ya know what we need, man? Some rope.
Murphy: Absolutely. What are ya, insane?
Connor: No I ain't. Charlie Bronson's always got rope.
Murphy: What?
Connor: Yeah. He's got a lot of rope strapped around him in the movies, and they always end up using it.
Murphy: You've lost it, haven't ya?
Connor: No, I'm serious.
Murphy: Me too. That's stupid. Name one thing you gonna need a rope for.
Connor: You don't ****in' know what you're gonna need it for. They just always need it.
Murphy: What's this 'they' ****? This isn't a movie.
Connor: Oh, right.
[picks up large knife out of Murphy's bag]
Connor: Is that right, Rambo?
Murphy: All right. Get your stupid ****in' rope.
Connor: I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. This is a rope right here.

[Tony]

Cant belive no one has quoted one of the greatest movies of all time. :ack2:

[tunnelvision69]

you got a phukin problem??

[JupiterSunsation]

Chip, I'll be on you like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew.:)

Classic!

[JupiterSunsation]

I'm known from coast to coast like butter and toast....
When I get a Ferrari its.....out the door....
Ask anyone about Freddie Bisco...

[Magic Medicine]

Im your huckle berry.
I am sufferin from a Hang over.

I'm going go get the papers, get the papers.

[phragle]

Fat Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life son

[Dude! Sweet!]

Sh*t seven years of college down the drain!

[Dude! Sweet!]

Shut the F*CK up Donny!!!

[Dude! Sweet!]

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

[Perlmudder]

i feel the need,... the neeeeed for speeed!

[Dude! Sweet!]

OK, just one more for now...

Wait a second, let's recap. Last night, we lost my car, we accepted stolen money from a transsexual stripper, and now some space nerds want us to find something we can't pronounce. I hate to say it, Chester, but maybe we need to cut back on the shibbying.

[clayinaustin]

Crying? There's no crying in basball!

Tom Hanks in A Leauge of Their Own


Badges, we dont need no stinking badges

Some mexican in Blazing Saddles


"Dieing ain't much of a livin"

Clint Eastwood in The Outlaw Josie Wales

What do I win? :D

[dwtinc]

Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan. Did you tell her you love her before or after you came? Never tell them after.

[JupiterSunsation]

You just shot an unarmed man..........

Your friend should have armed himself if when he decided to decorate his saloon with my friend......

I am William Munny out of Missouri and I have killed women, children and just about everything that has walked or crawled across this land and I'm here to kill you little Bill.............

[cigdaze]

English, Motherfvcker! Do you speak it?!

[DonziGirl]

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

[clayinaustin]

You just shot an unarmed man..........

Your friend should have armed himself if when he decided to decorate his saloon with my friend......

I am William Munny out of Missouri and I have killed women, children and just about everything that has walked or crawled across this land and I'm here to kill you little Bill.............

Clint Eastwood - Unforgiven

[clayinaustin]

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Monty Python's Holy Grail

[03darkshadow]

Monty Python's Holy Grail



awesome movie. it took about 3 times of watching it before i got every subtle joke.

[phragle]

the price is wrong..biotch

[bluellama]

"Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister."

"Attention, whoever you are. This channel is reserved for emergency calls only."
"No ****ing ****, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?"

[DonziGirl]

"Have fun storming the castle boys!"
"Think they'll succeed?"
"It'd take a miracle".

[DonziGirl]

Witch!
I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!

....
....

Humperdinck!

[DonziGirl]

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.



You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

[DonziGirl]

Prince Humperdinck: [sincerely] Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped.
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, then you haven't got anything.

[bluellama]

You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...

Great movie DG.

[DonziGirl]

Yeah I always liked that movie.

Inconcievable!

[Cash Bar]

It's much different when you're fighting one man instead of eight.. :)

[seebeagle]

This is the most powerfulest hand gun in the world.a.44 magnum.Now you gotta ask yourself,Do I feel lucky,Well,do ya punk

[Tony]

I dont think you understand, theese boys killed my dog.

[seebeagle]

Cannon ball run,the Doc; "I just gave her a little *****.......with this"
and "Cysts,on the walls of her lungs"
Captain America: "Hello J.J"

[seebeagle]

Road House: "I thought you'd be bigger"

[Tony]

Double douche.

[03darkshadow]

Jeasus, mother mary, and joseph, you pissed yoruself

from bad santa.

[cuda]

You just shot an unarmed man..........

Your friend should have armed himself if when he decided to decorate his saloon with my friend......

I am William Munny out of Missouri and I have killed women, children and just about everything that has walked or crawled across this land and I'm here to kill you little Bill.............

Actually Munny says, "He should have armed hisself." :26:

[cuda]

awesome movie. it took about 3 times of watching it before i got every subtle joke.

I've watched it so many times, my brother and I can do the whole movie! By far my favorite comedy!

Tim the Scorceror: There he is!
Where, behind the rabbit?
He IS the rabbbit.
You silly sot, you had us all worked up.
Sir Robin: I think I soiled my armor
King Arther: Go on Boris, lop his head off
Boris: One rabbit stew coming right up
:26:

[cuda]

the price is wrong..biotch


Adam Sandler to Bob Barker in Happy Gilmore! Funny as chit!

[cuda]

This is an ex parrot. He has expired, and gone to meet his maker This parrot is no more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218

[FULL FORCE]

Christamas Vacation...

"Chitter was full"

Multiplicity...

"Steve, she touched my peppy.."
"Did you buy me a monkey?"

[seebeagle]

Austin Powers to Dr.Evil:"Dr.Evil,I used to think you were crazy but now I can see your nuts,A thank you"

[Bobcat]

taggart, what happened to your head ?

[boatme]

From one of my all time favorite movies
"Snake Pliskin? I thought you were dead"

[MacGyver]

"It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.- Hit it."

[phragle]

that a ship like that one, makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really

The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers.


"If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it."



CApt Jack Sparrow.

[boatme]

"It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.- Hit it."


Ahhh Blues brothers I love that one to

[MacGyver]

Ahhh Blues brothers I love that one to

One of my all time favorite movies.

[Madcow]

"It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.- Hit it."

I was wondering when someone was going to get to that.

[Madcow]

Can we turn our beds into bunk beds? It will give us so much more room for activities!

http://video.google.com/videosearch?client=safari&rls=en-us&q=step+brothers&oe=UTF-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=2ja9Sb3SDpWytwfypuz3Cw&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title#

[Madcow]

Go home and get your fukin' shine box!

[Madcow]

Maverick is super sonic, I'll be ther in 30 seconds.

[Madcow]

What knockers. Oh, thank you doctor.

http://www.yourememberthat.com/media/9582/What_Knockers_-___Young__Frankenstein__/

[BBB725]

Can we turn our beds into bunk beds? It will give us so much more room for activities!

http://video.google.com/videosearch?client=safari&rls=en-us&q=step+brothers&oe=UTF-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=2ja9Sb3SDpWytwfypuz3Cw&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title#

[03darkshadow]

"you gotta warm up the oven before you stick the turkey in" american pie 2. that girl is so goofy but so hot.

[phragle]

fat chicks tend to cum alot...

Dudley Moore, Arther

[BY U BOY]

I assume you all have guns and crack:sifone:

[BY U BOY]

from the break up
She went through alot that summer,yeah alot of di(k.

[cuda]

There are three kinds of pipe. What you have, and you see what that gets you, bronze, which is ok until something goes wrong, and something always goes wrong, and copper. Copper is the only pipe I use. $10,800.00.

[Perlmudder]

Well I got something for you from the late great Colonel Sanders who said "I'm to drunk to taste this chicken"

[Bobcat]

don't hit me ,I think I am a bleeder

[DonziGirl]

I feel the need, the need for speed!

[Sea-Dated]

Who the hell puts a toll gate in the middle of the desert? Now someone has to go back to town and get a whole chitload if dimes.......

[cigdaze]

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
:D

[cigdaze]

What would you do if you had a million dollars?
I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.

[cigdaze]

What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Ya.
Wow, that's messed up.

[cigdaze]

Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.

[DonziGirl]

Did you get the memo about the TPS reports?

[cigdaze]

Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
Yeah. Did you get that memo?

:D

[wantingmore]

Ah...Office Space...an instant classic

Here's one..

Dang, that was lucky. Darn near lost a $400 hand cart.

[wantingmore]

That uppity n!gger went and hit me upside the head with a shovel. I sure would appreciate it if you would find it in your heart for you to hang him up by his neck until he was dead.

[Bobcat]

taggart, what happened to your head ?


That uppity n!gger went and hit me upside the head with a shovel. I sure would appreciate it if you would find it in your heart for you to hang him up by his neck until he was dead.

:sifone:

[Bobcat]

get me a diablo sandwich and a dr pepper

Bankrobbery ? thats baby s h i t compared to what this guy did

[Dude! Sweet!]

Those are llamas, dude... no dude, they're ostriches...

[JJ Apache]

"Ooh! Your buds are getting so big, I'm gonna have to get you a training bra."
Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams. :smilielol5:

[seebeagle]

"Are you ok"?
"Physically,yes psycologically,no"

[JJ Apache]

"The surest way to make 'em bleed is bust their ass and steal their weed."
Sargent Sadanko.............(hard hat, Hard Hat...Lard ass, Lard Ass)

[DonziGirl]

I just shot a guy with a flare gun!




A Panama? No! No Panama!

[JupiterSunsation]

Ever come across someone you shouldn't of fvcked with.........that's me...... Clint Eastwood, Gran Torino.......GREAT MOVIE, saw it last weekend.

[FormulaOne]

I just shot a guy with a flare gun!




A Panama? No! No Panama!



ha ha...Sahara! (sp?)

Bonus question.....What kind of boat was it??

[Scarab KV]

get me a diablo sandwich and a dr pepper

Bankrobbery ? thats baby s h i t compared to what this guy did

lol...the great one

[Expensive Date]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYoYPJ5uwFg

I just never seen a grit before

[DonziGirl]

ha ha...Sahara! (sp?)

Bonus question.....What kind of boat was it??

a Hunton :D

[Bobcat]

Hey boy....let me talk to the Sheriff !

I'm the Sheriff

You seemed much taller on the radio!
(aside to junior) what the hell's this country comin to !

[GRH]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWpU8sX10_4

[clayinaustin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWpU8sX10_4

funny! :D

[ItsPeanut]

Any Snatch fans?

[Bobcat]

Any Snatch fans?

F*cking Pikeys ! I hate F*cking Pikeys !