The Rules. your woman should memorize these.

[phragle]

Simply inform her that these will make your relationship much happier.

Take note of the fact they are all numbered 1. for a reason.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as boats, racing, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[stecz20]

lol good stuff on that list...

[Ratickle]

Great list. The best part? Probably 99% true......:sifone::sifone:

[clayinaustin]

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


That's my favorite! :D

[drpete3]

That is really deep stuff. I mean this is the inner workings of a mans brain. If my woman followed this to a T then life would be perfect.

[Perlmudder]

haha

[Ratickle]

That is really deep stuff. I mean this is the inner workings of a mans brain. If my woman followed this to a T then life would be perfect.

If your woman followed this to a T, we'd all be chasin her.......:sifone:

[JJ Apache]

If your woman followed this to a T, we'd all be chasin her.......:sifone:

Thats why I'm not allowed to talk to anyone............:sifone:

[Wrinkleface]

I think my 1st wife had a headache 4 14 years!!:(

[phragle]

women seem to have such difficulties with the rules... this could explain why I have never gotten married...

[ThrottleUp Props]

I think my 1st wife had a headache 4 14 years!!:(

Maybe whe wasn't wearing the correct type of underwear!
:rofl:

Julie

[03darkshadow]

ah they're all true. i guess why i cant keep a girlfriend for more than a year is i wont sleep on the couch in my own place. if im paying rent for the place and i bought the bed, damnit, im sleeping in it.

[Cash Bar]

I had a woman tell me recently that having no wive, no ex-wives or kids at 40 was like a giant red flag over my head.

I told her it was more like a GOLD medal on my chest. :)

[florida gator]

I'm actually on the phone with my girlfriend listening to how the fact that she has turned into someone with deeper meaning than she was when we met we may not work. I copied the rules and sent them to her.

[phragle]

I had a woman tell me recently that having no wive, no ex-wives or kids at 40 was like a giant red flag over my head.

I told her it was more like a GOLD medal on my chest. :)

I hear ya man, we are the few, the proud, with our self respect intact and a level of sanity not enjoyed by most.
that big red flag is telling her that you take no sh!t, you will not put up with head games, and won't cowar in the corner in the face of a womans anger. of course it's a red flag to a woman..it says I WILL NOT BE PLAYED.

[Cookee]

I had a woman tell me recently that having no wive, no ex-wives or kids at 40 was like a giant red flag over my head.

I told her it was more like a GOLD medal on my chest. :)

Well I'm 50 and getting married in May for the first time with no kids that I'm aware of - finally found a girl that is ok with the way I am and doesn't want to change me!

And it was worth the wait!

[Wrinkleface]

Maybe whe wasn't wearing the correct type of underwear!
:rofl:

Julie

or maybe I had the wrong 1's on!!:eek::leaving:

[txriverrat2001]

I got the whole "You never listen to me" and "you're always with your friends and on the boat" crap last night ...........

Sending her a copy right now .... what a pita

[DonziGirl]

Here we go..

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
I don't think I complain about this. Tony?
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
I think I know more/watch more sports than Tony
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
No it definitely isn't!
1. Crying is blackmail.
of course it is.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
I've learned this over the years. I haven't perfected it because I hate being rude but I am working on it.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
ummmm maybe :D
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Got that.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Obviously....
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
Only if the things we say or do become inadmissible...
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
I hate soap operas
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
duh.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Uh huh. Not sure I'm buying this one
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Got that one but it seems whenever I ask for Tony's drill or other tools to do it myself he panics :rofl:
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Obviously
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
I hate asking for directions too. All I need is my phone and I can get there eventually.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Until it comes to boat upholstry colors then suddenly your colors seem to broaden...
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
I already have a puppy. I don't need another
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
Got it
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
same goes for our answers...
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
No problems with this oen

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as boats, racing, or monster trucks.
Nope no problem here

1. You have enough clothes.
so do you... stop buying boating shirts/jackets...

1. You have too many shoes.
I hate to shoe shop so no problems here..


I really don't think these rules are that big of a deal. Why the fuss?

[DonziGirl]

I got the whole "You never listen to me" and "you're always with your friends and on the boat" crap last night ...........

Sending her a copy right now .... what a pita

I think I'd be more annoyed if Tony went boating and left me at home!

[THEJOKER]

Well I'm 50 and getting married in May for the first time with no kids that I'm aware of - finally found a girl that is ok with the way I am and doesn't want to change me!

And it was worth the wait! I hear ya......I'm in the same deal at 44!

[Davidmnc]

Copy,check.......... paste in email,check......... send to wife, check

[JJ Apache]

I hear ya man, we are the few, the proud, with our self respect intact and a level of sanity not enjoyed by most.
that big red flag is telling her that you take no sh!t, you will not put up with head games, and won't cowar in the corner in the face of a womans anger. of course it's a red flag to a woman..it says I WILL NOT BE PLAYED.

This is my sister your describing.:26: won't put up with any mans ****. Shes perfect for you phragle, and she's a Cancer. Cancers & taurus' are a good match... :kiss: