Stimulus Package Explained

[clayinaustin]

Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from China. You children and grandchildren are expected to repay the Chinese.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Here is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Qaeda

If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile, and Guatemala.

If you buy a car it will go to Japan or Korea.

If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India

If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan

If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America.
You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US. :sifone:

[clayinaustin]

From what I can gather, if you are single and make over $75K (like me), you ain't getting squat! :mad:

[Sea-Dated]

From what I can gather, if you are single and make over $75K (like me), you ain't getting squat! :mad:

I thought if you were white you didn't get squat! :smash:

[Geronimo36]

From what I can gather, if you are single and make over $75K (like me), you ain't getting squat! :mad:

What I've been trying to figure out is when did $75K become alot anyway... I mean.. $75K in NJ with a wife and kid or two... you can't afford to own a decent home unless you have a lot of "help"..... Reality Check!!:(:leaving:

[Dude! Sweet!]

Or in SoCal, where secrataries make $75k and have to live in one bedroom apartments... but hey, at least we save money on snow shovels. Although I spent that cash on a bullet proof vest.

[cigdaze]

Funny...but not.

I'm no construction worker, but I am white, with a job and I pay taxes; thus I don't get sht. Which is fine, I don't want anything. I just want everyone to contribute what they can, so that I don't have to support so many dumb-ass, lazy, over-leveraged azzhats!

:( :mad:

[Wrinkleface]

Funny...but not.

I am white, with a job and I pay taxes(2 much) so can support so many dumb-ass, lazy, over-leveraged azzhats along w/ a bunch of illegals!!!

:( :mad:

:boxing_smiley::beatdeadhorse5:

[Offshoredrillin]

thanks to my accountant and attorneys i will get one, I will spend it on beer and helping single moms... I love America, if you want to succeed.be smarter than them

[03darkshadow]

i wonder how much im going to get. haha.

[Wrinkleface]

I will spend it on helping single moms...

Dude, R U on Clay's pole program??????????????????:26::seeya:

[inbetween]

i wonder how much im going to get. haha.

doesn't the gubment give you money weekly anyway :dupe:

[phragle]

the Obama camp have failed to mention the key word of the stimulus package 'prostate' . Make obama happy, bend over, grab your ankles and be prepared to be stimulated

[Tommy Gun]

Check this out: Robert Reich...No stimulus money for white males

http://hotair.com/archives/2009/01/22/video-no-stimulus-money-for-white-males/


WTF?

[getchasum111]

What I've been trying to figure out is when did $75K become alot anyway... I mean.. $75K in NJ with a wife and kid or two... you can't afford to own a decent home unless you have a lot of "help"..... Reality Check!!:(:leaving:

where in anything he said did you see Clay say 75k was alot of money....

[phragle]

part of the bill.... $330,000,000 for std prevention

[getchasum111]

Check this out: Rober Reich...No stimulus money for white males

http://hotair.com/archives/2009/01/22/video-no-stimulus-money-for-white-males/


WT?

man that really pizzes me off.....minorities already have more benefits than i do(yea I'm a white male)....let a white guy try to buy a ford dealership when a black male with no money can get the govt to step in and give him the loan...the black man wins....all i want is whats fair....now it seems our new president want to phuck me right in my azz....and i don't go that way....not that there is anything wrong with it....

[Audiofn]

The stimulous package is a joke. They have so much pork in this thing it is not funny. All they wanted to do was rush it through so that we could not see all the BS that they put in it. They already got caught and had to remove the millions to low incom people for contraception. This will NOT create any new jobs. How is over a hundred million bucks to ACORN going to stimulate the economy???? The good news if there is any over this package is that the republicans FINALLY held their ground and said NO. The Obama administration said that they stood for change. The last three depresions we got out of with tax cuts not gov. spending. You have to go all the way back to the great depresion or more recently the Japanese depresion to see that gov. spending does NOT help. Japan practicaly paved over the country with all their government jobs and it failed. They don't care about the future, they just want to spend as much money as they can. We are in for a record deficiet with this administration.

[Ted]

part of the bill.... $330,000,000 for std prevention


That is an outright lie!!!!


























































It's $335,000,000, and they are a bunch of f'ing douchebags.

[OldSchool]

So, how is everyone going to vote in 2010???:leaving:

I sure do miss the Catman being here to post crazy stuff about how it's a great thing!!!


NOT:sifone::rofl:

[fund razor]

Here it is explained.

http://kingston.house.gov/UploadedFiles/STIMU-WHAT.pdf

[Geronimo36]

where in anything he said did you see Clay say 75k was alot of money....

You misunderstood what I wrote.... I'm saying the government, not clay, says $75K is "rich" and taxed as such...... And americans loose a lot of these "stimulus" checks if they make more than 75. I think they're still living in the stone age or maybe some podunk town in nome alaska..

[Geronimo36]

man that really pizzes me off.....minorities already have more benefits than i do(yea I'm a white male)....let a white guy try to buy a ford dealership when a black male with no money can get the govt to step in and give him the loan...the black man wins....all i want is whats fair....now it seems our new president want to phuck me right in my azz....and i don't go that way....not that there is anything wrong with it....

I hear ya.... My company is owned by a white male..... Due to not being a minority owned, veteran owned or WBE (Woman's Business Enterprise) we have a tough time acquiring new enterprise sized clients or getting on vendor lists because we are NOT a minority.... Meanwhile, my Indian owned counterparts get all the business because they're minorities... In addition to that, large companies and even the government have certain monies set aside for minority owned companies so they can meet their "quotas". So even if I provide a superior service I might not get the work.

To me that's not equal opportunity....and it feels as if I'm being treated as a "minority" because we're not a Minority, Veteran or WBE... :boxing_smiley:

[fund razor]

Boy, the market is responding to yesterday's "stimulus" package almost as well as it reacted to the election of The One. :(

[sledge]

I think I'm going to start checking the box "Black" or maybe "Other non-white." How long would it take before someone questions me on my selection? I mean go ahead...PROVE that I'm white...

:biggrinjester:

[LotoSteve]

Wonder if the love affair the media has with BO will end 3 years from now when this stupid wastful spending aka stimulas package doesnt produce jobs or recovery. Never mind. I know the answer :rolleyes:

[fund razor]

I think I'm going to start checking the box "Black" or maybe "Other non-white." How long would it take before someone questions me on my selection? I mean go ahead...PROVE that I'm white...

:biggrinjester:

My Mom's grandmother was married to an Osage chief. My grandmother grew up in oklahoma. I am a native. Never mind that whole.... Dad's dad was a german/serbian/russian thing. ;)

[tommymonza]

I grew up in Michigan and lived on Shawnee road and went to Shawnee Park Elementary and used have to ride down Okemos to get home.I think i might qualify for a little Indian status:sifone:

[fund razor]

I grew up in Michigan and lived on Shawnee road and went to Shawnee Park Elementary and used have to ride down Okemos to get home.I think i might qualify for a little Indian status:sifone: Can you make a decent curry? :D

[Buoy]

I just realized, that if you break it all down, my ancestory is actually Polish Viking.
I guess I am a minority in this country.

[fund razor]

I just realized, that if you break it all down, my ancestory is actually Polish Viking.
I guess I am a minority in this country.
Uh huh.
http://users.wolfcrews.com/toys/vikings/

[Buoy]

Uh huh.
http://users.wolfcrews.com/toys/vikings/

Never had cats. Can't be of my family crest.
We were more of a deep Vee Polish-Viking Clan.

[fund razor]

Never had cats. Can't be of my family crest.
We were more of a deep Vee Polish-Viking Clan.
Good point. Besides...the cats have a wet hull. :D

[Geronimo36]

I'll tell ya one thing.... We all better hope that the new man in charge can get something done. Whether we agree with the approach or not we all better hope that it works.... I don't agree with bailing wastefull and devious companies either but if it doesn't work out I may have to get outta boating... so for the time being I'm hoping for the best and workin my azz off!!

[phragle]

Spending $200,000,000 to redo the lawn isn't going to do much for the economy, well the US economy. It will do wonders for the Mexican economy when the illegal landscapers send that money back to their families south of the border. Of course now that we are spending $350,000,000 on VD, those Mexicans can get a free shot in the ass of penicillin after catching the clap from $10 crack whores.......