Jack Bauer VS. Chuck Norris

[BY U BOY]

Hard choice but I may just Have to go with Jack:26:

[Madpoodle]

Bauer..

But your correct otherwise..

[RPM]

I gotta go w/ Chuck cuz I don't know who Jack Bauer is...

[BY U BOY]

Bauer..

But your correct otherwise..

fixed

[BY U BOY]

I gotta go w/ Chuck cuz I don't know who Jack Bauer is...

he's the badazz in 24:lurk5:

[BY U BOY]

Norris would wipe the floor with Kiefer "The Wimp" Sutherland.

yeah see we are talking about Jack :26:

[RPM]

Yeah,, Keifer's a panty waste

[Chris]

This is why Chuck doesn't stand a chance-



RULES FOR A GUN, KNIFE, BASEBALL BAT OR FIST FIGHT

1. Forget about knives, bats and fists. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns.

Bring all of your friends who have guns. Bring four times the ammunition you think you could ever need.

2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammunition is cheap - life is expensive.

If you shoot inside, buckshot is your friend. A new wall is cheap - funerals are expensive

3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough or using cover correctly.

5. Move away from your attacker and go to cover. Distance is your friend. (Bulletproof cover and diagonal or lateral movement are preferred.)

6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a semi or full-automatic long gun and a friend with a long gun.

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

Yell "Fire!" Why "Fire"? Cops will come with the Fire Department, sirens often scare off the bad guys, or at least cause then to lose concentration and will.... and who is going to summon help if you yell "Intruder," "Glock" or "Winchester?"

9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.

10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

11. Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. Have a plan.

13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work. "No battle plan ever survives 10 seconds past first contact with an enemy."

14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible, but remember, sheetrock walls and the like stop nothing but your pulse when bullets tear through them.

15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

16. Don't drop your guard.

17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees. Practice reloading one-handed and off-hand shooting.

That's how you live if hit in your "good" side.

18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. Smiles, frowns and other facial expressions don't (In God we trust. Everyone else keep your hands where I can see them.)

19. Decide NOW to always be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet if necessary, because they may want to kill you.

22. Be courteous to everyone, overly friendly to no one.

23. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with anything smaller than "4".

25. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel blows the powder from the flintlock of your musket." At a practice session, throw you gun into the mud, then make sure it still works. You can clean it later.

26. Practice shooting in the dark, with someone shouting at you, when out of breath, etc.

27. Regardless of whether justified of not, you will feel sad about killing another human being. It is better to be sad than to be room temperature.

28. The only thing you EVER say afterwards is, "He said he was going to kill me. I believed him. I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm very upset now. I can't say anything more. Please speak with my attorney."


Finally, Drill Sergeant Frick's Rules For Un-armed Combat.


1: Never be unarmed.

2: If you have your hands, your feet, your mind and your Spirit as an American Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine or Coastie, you are never unarmed.

[inbetween]

Chuck was buried alive in a Jeep and drove it out. Kiefer was a vampire.

[Madcow]

When Chuck Norris has a hangover he doesn't throw up, he throws down!

[RPM]

When Chuck Norris has a hangover he doesn't throw up, he throws down!

LMAO
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[clayinaustin]

norris would wipe the floor with kiefer "the wimp" sutherland.


+1

[SHARKEY-IMAGES]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

[Bobcat]

keep in mind both of them together would tip the scales at about 220 pounds, and they are both actors jack bauer does have a better wig than the texas ranger, but they would not last ten minutes in a good bar fight.:sifone:

[Madpoodle]

No such thing as a good bar fight in KW.. b!tch fight maybe, but not a bar fight..

[Bobcat]

say that again and I'll scratch your eyes out:26:

[Madcow]

keep in mind both of them together would tip the scales at about 220 pounds, and they are both actors jack bauer does have a better wig than the texas ranger, but they would not last ten minutes in a good bar fight.:sifone:


Remember, before Chuck was an actor he was a multi time martial arts world champion. What has that other guy done?

[Sydwayz]

Tough call, but most of Jack's damage comes while he's holding a gun, or someone else is holding a gun with the subject already at bay. Chuck Norris just kicks ass as soon as the opening credits/theme music ceases.

[clayinaustin]

say that again and I'll scratch your eyes out:26:

Post of the week candidate! :dupe:

[Sea-Dated]

Remember, before Chuck was an actor he was a multi time martial arts world champion. What has that other guy done?

True but what good is martial arts when the other guy is 40 feet away with a .45 ponted at you?

Point goes to the gun there.....

[clayinaustin]

True but what good is martial arts when the other guy is 40 feet away with a .45 ponted at you?

Point goes to the gun there.....

Maybe, but how often do you "carry". Are you "carrying" right now? Chuck Norris is always "carrying". :p

Plus, 40 feet? When was the last time you had a confrontation from 40 feet away? A confrontation usually occurs within fighting distance. Chuck Norris would kick ass before a gun was drawn! :D

[clayinaustin]

P.S. When you go downtown, do you carry a gun? I would say not. However, when I go downtown I always carry a pocket knife. When confronted I would rather have a knife in my back pocket than a gun in the dresser drawer. :eek:

[Sea-Dated]

Maybe, but how often do you "carry". Are you "carrying" right now? Chuck Norris is always "carrying". :p

Plus, 40 feet? When was the last time you had a confrontation from 40 feet away? A confrontation usually occurs within fighting distance. Chuck Norris would kick ass before a gun was drawn! :D

Good points......:boxing_smiley:

[Sea-Dated]

P.S. When you go downtown, do you carry a gun? I would say not. However, when I go downtown I always carry a pocket knife. When confronted I would rather have a knife in my back pocket than a gun in the dresser drawer. :eek:

Yes, when I leave the house I am carrying..... Gun and knife.....

Unless I am going into a bar where you can not legally carry, then gun is in the car and knife is still in my pocket....

[clayinaustin]

Yes, when I leave the house I am carrying..... Gun and knife.....

Cool! I want to party with you! :26:

[Sea-Dated]

Cool! I want to party with you! :26:

Having a conceal carry permit does you no good at all if you are not going to carry....

[clayinaustin]

I don't have a permit. Hell, I don't even own a gun. Don't want one.

Edged weapons are my choice! :D

[Sea-Dated]

I don't have a permit. Hell, I don't even own a gun. Don't want one.

Edged weapons are my choice! :D

Good choice......

Blades don't jam or run out of ammo.....:sifone:

[clayinaustin]

Good choice......

Blades don't jam or run out of ammo.....:sifone:

And they are silent. Silent and deadly. :eek:

If someone pulls a gun on me in a crowded area (like a downtown street), I doubt they will actually pull the trigger and cause a dozen cops running to their location. But, if someone pulls a knife on me, I would back down. If I didn't backoff, there is an excellent chance they would stab me. :ack2:

In a crowded area, a knife is more of a threat than a gun.

Just my humble opinion. :p

[cigdaze]

Please, Chuck Norris wipes his azz with guys like Jack Bauer.
:D

[26 Spyder]

Walker Vs. Bauer, I would go with Bauer

Chuck Vs. Kiefer, Chuck would kick his ass!

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

Yes, when I leave the house I am carrying..... Gun and knife.....

Unless I am going into a bar where you can not legally carry, then gun is in the car and knife is still in my pocket....

A chick friend of a friend says she is going out. It was late and I asked her if she wants company and suggested she doesn't go out alone.

She smiled and responded," Don't worry about me I carry three knives and a gun."

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

Walker Vs. Bauer, I would go with Bauer

Chuck Vs. Kiefer, Chuck would kick his ass!

Who else will kill you with a pen?

[clayinaustin]

Who else will kill you with a pen?

Riddick (Vin Diesel) Death by teacup! :p

[Bobcat]

Cool! I want to party with you! :26:

now that is post of the week stuff:sifone:

[Bobcat]

ancient weapons and hokey religions are no match for a good blaster (anyone)

[clayinaustin]

ancient weapons and hokey religions are no match for a good blaster (anyone)

Han Solo :D

[Bobcat]

han solo :d

:26::26:

[45calibur]

keep in mind both of them together would tip the scales at about 220 pounds, and they are both actors jack bauer does have a better wig than the texas ranger, but they would not last ten minutes in a good bar fight.:sifone:



no , chuck norris doesnt just do fake karate in movies , chuck norris is a black belt in brazilian jiu jitsu , he would choke that other dude out in about 45 seconds


ill put my money on chuck norris in a one on one fight aginst most guys who hang out in bars


.

[Chris]

ancient weapons and hokey religions are no match for a good blaster (anyone)


Myself, I've always been fond of close air support.

[bluellama]

Are we talking Chuck Norris from 15 years ago vs Jack Bauer of today, or that tired old guy I saw shilling the Total Gym on TV.

Cause Lone Wolf McQuade would kick that Total Gym guy's ass ....

[bluellama]

Myself, I've always been fond of close air support.

Peace through Superior Fire Power ........

[YankeY]

Chuck Norris because he's freakin real...Jack Bauer is just puppets and stew meat.:sifone:

[Bobcat]

when I wrestled in college our theme was "karate stings"

[ILMORdude]

Who else will kill you with a pen?

Umm MacGyver would make a gun out of a paperclip and a massive bomb from 1 single qtip. Pound for pound winner in this tv badass debate

[45calibur]

Are we talking Chuck Norris from 15 years ago vs Jack Bauer of today, or that tired old guy I saw shilling the Total Gym on TV.

Cause Lone Wolf McQuade would kick that Total Gym guy's ass ....


believe it or not the chuck norris of today is tougher than the chuck noris of 15 years ago

after he stopped competing in karate he went and became a black belt in brazilian jiu jitsu



.

[itilldo]

this says it all

[ILMORdude]

someone make a poll

[rockfish71]

Chuck Norris is Gay.

[Ratickle]

Chuck would kick his ass.....