Sunday Snickers

[Ratickle]

Reward For Goodness

Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.
The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question.
If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....
Hell is waiting for you.

To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat
on your wife?"
The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband.
I never cheated on my wife."
The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in,
but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion
and a limo for your transportation.

To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat
on your wife?"
The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice."
The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your
unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW.

To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you
cheat on your wife?"
The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times."
The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness,
you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation.

A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying
his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked.
"You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied,
"I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago,
and she was riding a skateboard!" :reddevil:

[Ratickle]

The Test. . .

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St.Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Ah, yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front end protrusion.

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.

4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust. And finally,

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous."

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.":sifone: