(301):
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Thread: Texts From Last Night
Results 1,461 to 1,480 of 1951
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04-16-2010 01:43 PM•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:44 PM(412):
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:44 PM(647):
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:45 PM(516):
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three phucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:46 PM(828):
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:47 PM(812):
How did your new apartment party go last night?
(219):
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:48 PM(765):
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:49 PM(734):
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:49 PM(732):
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:50 PM(909):
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:51 PM(802):
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the ****. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:52 PM(978):
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:53 PM(607):
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:53 PM(415):
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 01:56 PM?????????? Did I miss something?
Originally Posted by MacGyver
Mark
Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink.
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04-16-2010 01:56 PM(574):
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 02:00 PM(910):
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 02:01 PM(310):
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that **** shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 02:02 PM(804):
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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04-16-2010 02:03 PM(902):
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.•_•_•_▬_▬_▬_•_•_•
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