Texts From Last Night

[jayboat]

(908): the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

meeeee tooooo.

[baddogz28]

I just posted two, they haven't gone on the feed yet but lets see who can guess what they are when they come up.

[LaughingCat]

(425): Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.

[MarylandMark]

I just posted two, they haven't gone on the feed yet but lets see who can guess what they are when they come up.

(858): Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.

This you?

[jayboat]

(443): and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.

[insanity]

(425): Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.

LOL! Story of my life

[BradB]

(419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

[Boss252]

I just posted two, they haven't gone on the feed yet but lets see who can guess what they are when they come up.

(650): dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
(805): 1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.

What do I win?

[LaughingCat]

(216): My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

[LaughingCat]

(815): Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.

[LaughingCat]

(506): Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
(1-506): Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

[LaughingCat]

(716): why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
(860): its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
(716): i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal

[LaughingCat]

(602): but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.

[LaughingCat]

(617): This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?

[LaughingCat]

(440): why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
(1-440): you have got to be kidding?

[LaughingCat]

(650): so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
(415): What...you let him do that?
(650): It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow

[LaughingCat]

(815): Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?

[LaughingCat]

(978): Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
(617): dude are you serious?
(978): I know you already have a pic on your phone

[LaughingCat]

(607): Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
(1-607): I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.

[jayboat]

(970): He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster