Texts From Last Night

[jmeng]

(225): I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
(504): Who won?
(225): All of them.

Gotta love Louisiana girls....

[Perlmudder]

Gotta love Louisiana girls....

you say whore i say team player!!

[jeff1000man]

you say whore i say team player!!

Write that down.

[jayboat]

fat chicks update:

(415): How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

(305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
(615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

[03darkshadow]

I have a buddy i need to do this to..

(919): There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.

[03darkshadow]

(513): Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

(626): What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"

[LaughingCat]

(952): I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fuking part Iowa.

[Perlmudder]

If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party!

[X-Rated30]

(704): You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

[jayboat]

(315): That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.

(541): You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.

(732): You look like a girl that would like strip clubs

(248): i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"

(707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and f*ck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
(951): That's the thing about women.

[phragle]

(pengy): Drunk text



now thats creativity at its finest....

[Davidmnc]

(pengy): Drunk text



now thats creativity at its finest....

It was all I had

[phragle]

we have all had those moments....

[03darkshadow]

It was all I had

swing and a miss...

[Dude! Sweet!]

(315): That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.

Gotta love Central NY...

[X-Rated30]

(504): Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.

(408): booty call
(925): i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pu**y.

[Dude! Sweet!]

Is there something wrong with the fact that I see a big up side to this one?

(513): Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

[Perlmudder]

Is there something wrong with the fact that I see a big up side to this one?

(513): Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

anal sex is wild and leaves no child!

[Dude! Sweet!]

anal sex is wild and leaves no child!

Awwww yeah!

[baddogz28]

(641): are you wasted or are you getting laid?
(515): ebdebdebdebd
(641): wow