Only in the Keys

[Bobcat]

Whenever You mail a package to Yourself, it gets flagged.

[fund razor]

Yourself...Youseff. Whichever.

[Ratickle]

According to Wrink it's Your Self........

[Bobcat]

Crime Report
Saturday, March 11, 2017
Drunken man steals forklift from marina
MARATHON — A drunken “genius” from Rhode Island accused of stealing a forklift from a marina because he couldn’t find the keys to his car was arrested Thursday night, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office.

Edward Quinton, 44, of Greenwich, Rhode Island, was charged with DUI with property damage, criminal mischief,& burglary.

[fund razor]

Uh oh, we have a bad ass over here.

"blah, blah you mutherphuckers, something something bloodrail."

[Bobcat]

This Guy was just elected His Class President at Florida....oops!

Sunday, March 19, 2017
Angry man knocks over motorcycles
A 22-year-old man from Davie, Florida, had a busy night late Wednesday as he went on a spree that included spitting on a woman, cursing at another, hitting a police officer, and knocking over scooters and motorcycles.

Key West Police officers arrested William Zachary Ellison for the various offenses, resulting in charges of felony resisting an officer with violence

[sonicss31]

Retard is only G-rated word for these people.

[fund razor]

A mosquito sanctuary?

[Ratickle]

That has to be one of the most retarded things I have ever read. Mot only mosquitos, but cockroaches!!

[fund razor]

This just in. Proof that it is NOT only in the keys.
http://www.toledoblade.com/Police-Fi...h-hatchet.html

A North Toledo man pleaded not guilty today in Toledo Municipal Court to chasing a family member with a hatchet.

Noel E. Dawson Jr., 63, of the 400 block of Elder Drive, is charged with domestic violence, assault, both first-degree misdemeanors; criminal damaging, a second-degree misdemeanor; and failure to disclose personal information, a fourth-degree misdemeanor.

Toledo Municipal Court Judge Robert Christiansen set bond at $50,000 Tuesday with no option to post 10 percent. The case was continued to today.

Mr. Dawson pleaded not guilty today to the charges.

Mr. Dawson is accused of chasing a family member Sunday with a hatchet. Prosecutors allege he swung the hatchet at the man, but struck his truck instead — leaving a large dent in the hood, according to a complaint filed in Toledo Municipal Court.

When Mr. Dawson was arrested, he refused to give the officer any of his information and rather just shouted obscenities, court records show.


And the money shot:

[Bobcat]

FISH ON!!!!!!!!

[Ratickle]

That is one strange lookin dude!!

[rschap1]

x2

[Ratickle]

He actually made the national news in Michigan cause he's so weird lookin.....

[fund razor]

The national news in Michigan is the national news.

[Ratickle]

Naw, ours is more special............

[Bobcat]

Report: Man takes golf cart home
ISLAMORADA — A 23-year-old man accused of making off with a $2,500 golf cart from Robbie’s Marina last Thursday was arrested, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office.

John Robert Liautaud was charged with felony grand theft.

Deputies were called to the 77000 block of the Overseas Highway for a domestic argument where Liautaud told them he had been drinking all day and fighting with his girlfriend after they rented kayaks from the marina, reports say.

He returned the kayaks and didn’t want to walk to a family member’s home nearby, because he was drunk, so he asked a marina employee if they could drive him home in one of their golf carts, reports say. The employee told him that his boss would not like the golf cart leaving the property.

Liautaud said he drove the golf cart away after the employee left and it was found at his family’s member’s home undamaged, reports say.

A manager at the marina said they wanted to press charges.

Liautaud was taken to the Plantation Key jail.

[rschap1]

At least he asked first

[Bobcat]

Bedroom brouhaha leads to fisticuffs
KEY WEST — Police were called to a downtown hotel Thursday as two women began fighting after one failed to achieve an orgasm, according to an incident report.

There were no arrests after one of the women made arrangements to stay elsewhere.

[Ratickle]

Stay elsewhere? Or get an orgasm elsewhere?