Another offshore adventure story by Bobthebuilder - Story #3 "How I grabbed the pole position"

[Bobthebuilder]

Since I am on a bit of a roll with this story thing, I thought I would post this one before I head off to Florida for our Ft Myers Offshore club run this weekend. I kept this one relatively short but it's not short of crazy funny stuff that should bring a few laughs at my expense if nothing else. Enjoy if you have time for it.
Bob


I am sure I will regret telling this story but I happen to think that it's OK to have a little laugh at ourselves sometimes. The year was 1998 I think and my friend Steve had just bought a slightly used rather sinister looking all black 46ft Cigarette Rough Rider from Mark Adams. We arrived at the Goodland Bay Marina near Marco Island where both our boats were kept. The plan was to take several family members and friends out for a ride.

While Steve was showing the group his new boat, I said I would get my 419 Formula ready to go. He was at the fuel dock and my slip was a short distance away. I climbed aboard and started to remove a line that was tied to a pole off the starboard side. It was a tricky operation as the pole was almost 3 ft away, so with two feet on the deck and one arm against the pole I proceeded to untie the line with my one free hand. So far, so good. Soon the line was loose and the boat started to move away from the pole and I was unable to push myself back onto the boat. Before I know it, I am almost horizontal and it looked like I would soon be in the water. In the mili seconds I had to think about it, I thought maybe I can avoid getting wet by making a jump for the pole! With a leap worthy of the Olympics I managed to wrap both arms and legs around the pole much like a monkey would, I suppose.

Unfortunately for me, I slid down the pole until stopped by an encrustation of barnacles exposed by the low tide. The group soon heard my cries for help and came running. Picture this. (see pic below) I'm hanging on for dear life and this group of about 10 people are laughing hysterically at me and standing there taking pictures. I think there was some video as well that I have since lost track of. I must check You Tube when I get a chance! After they had their laugh at my expense, one of them pushed the Formula back to where I could reach it (see pic below) and somehow I manage to climb from the pole and back onto the deck without getting wet!

I knew I had hurt myself, so the next thing was to do a damage assessment. I had torn the seat out of my pants and blood was running down both legs. I had both slivers and barnacles imbedded in both cheeks. I think you know which cheeks I am referring to ! LOL. Can you imagine the embarrassment of having that removed? I remember my sister doing some of the removal with a pair of needle nose pliers. We felt a visit to the doctor was necessary to cleanse my wounds and I was given a shot as well to prevent infection. I could not sit down for several days and had to sleep on my stomach at night. Thank goodness for stand up bolsters on the Formula that allowed me to get back on the water just a day or so later.

So what are the lessons here? Dunno. All I know is, it is much too hot to wear leather pants in Florida for protection. You tell me? I can't wait to hear. LOL

The end,
Bobthepolesitter

[Sea-Dated]

That is a great story. If you can't laugh at your self then you shouldn't laugh at anyone else.

[catastrophe]

Great stuff pal.

The pics add to it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cosmic12]

Great story...LMAO...and pictures to boot

[Bobthebuilder]

In pic one, even tho my azz is tore up, I am still laughing about it. Not long after, I can tell you the pain really set in. If you look closely at the height of the barnacles on the closest pole it will give you some idea of the ride I got that day. Too funny.

[Airpacker]

Bob, I never knew you were into "Pole Dancing" lol

[old377guy]

Thanks for the story Bob,I've had the good fortune to not have anyone around with a camera when I've done similar things. - Jeff

[Bobthebuilder]

You guys are all too funny. By making me laugh I can somehow justify posting more about my stupidity. Some of my closest friends are again reminding me of many other mis adventures some of which I unfortunately cannot write about.
Thanks,
Bob

[JupiterSunsation]

Bob another great story.......I noticed all of your stories mention different boats. I would enjoy a summary of your offshore performance boats with a one liner of what was great and not so great about each one and why you moved on. You seemed to have had one from every manufacturer!

[Dude! Sweet!]

Outstanding red team, we'll get you a case of beer for that one...

I'm going to be chuckling about this one for hours. Coming from a guy who hobbled himself falling off the trailer...

[Wrinkleface]

We will just call ya O'l barnacle butt!!!!

[McGary911]

Great story Bob. Really enjoying these posts.

I did something pretty similar, but no barnacles and the piling was attached to a finger pier, so i managed to swivel my way around to it. Just got my sneakers wet. And yeah, all my friends saw that last leap of desperation. We laughed all summer about that one.

[Wrinkleface]

Bob another great story.......I noticed all of your stories mention different boats. I would enjoy a summary of your offshore performance boats with a one liner of what was great and not so great about each one and why you moved on. You seemed to have had one from every manufacturer!

[baywatch]

That was hilarious!!! I wil be laughing about that one for a while.

My 4 year old is really into boats and I have been reading him your adventures for bed time stories on the night you post (better than lightning mcqueen). I even busted out my old powerboat with the cancun story the other night. He will get a kick out of this one for sure!!!

Thanks for sharing the adventures

[Shockwave]

I like how your friends first grabbed the camera took a pic " then " came to your rescue .
Nice boating palls you have .
Did you end up with any scars to show off at one of those late night men's bar meetings ?

Paul

[Bobthebuilder]

Bob another great story.......I noticed all of your stories mention different boats. I would enjoy a summary of your offshore performance boats with a one liner of what was great and not so great about each one and why you moved on. You seemed to have had one from every manufacturer!

I will do that later this evening, JS. I'm off to a hockey game shortly and when back I will put some thing together.

[Ratickle]

Damn Bob, instead of Scarface you will forever be known as Scarbutt....

Is "Your Little Friend" we say hi to a schucking knife instead of a machine gun?????

[Scarab KV]

lmao. Yet another great story.
btw...have you and Gino ever done any boating together?

[Bobthebuilder]

Damn Bob, instead of Scarface you will forever be known as Scarbutt....

Is "Your Little Friend" we say hi to a schucking knife instead of a machine gun?????

I'm cracking up reading some of this stuff. Too funny. By some small... er large miracle rather, all my dangling parts escaped intact. Whew. But I have to admit that I did check the front side before my backside for damage.

[Bobthebuilder]

lmao. Yet another great story.
btw...have you and Gino ever done any boating together?

Not in the same boat but we have been on several poker runs together with our boats. Here is a mini story for you. We are on the Poker Runs America, Sarasota Poker Run. He has the 39 MTI Lubejobs and I am in the 2003 Nor Tech PREDATOR. I was walking the docks after lunch and I see his hatches up and some work apparently being done on his motors. When I enquire, I'm told that they have checked everywhere and they could not find a starter anywhere within 50 miles. I say hey, no problem I carry an extra one. I bring it over to them and Gino just about falls over because even the painted starter matched his purple motors. In a matter of minutes they had him up and running and he finished the run with a smile.

Bob