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    Chuck Norris Facts......
    #1
    JupiterSunsation
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    12-15-2009 09:06 PM
    Search Chuck Norris Facts

    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
    Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
    Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
    Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
    Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.


    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

    Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

    Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

    Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

    Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

    Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
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    #2
    Wrinkleface
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    12-15-2009 09:09 PM
    U SERIOUSLY bored??????
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    #3
    03darkshadow
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    12-15-2009 09:12 PM
    chuck norris facts have been around for a long time, they are just as funny no matter how many times i read them.
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    #4
    JupiterSunsation
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    12-15-2009 09:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 03darkshadow View Post
    chuck norris facts have been around for a long time, they are just as funny no matter how many times i read them.
    an employee referenced them today and I never heard of the list, he just emailed it to me.....and yes I laughed throughout the list!
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    #5
    03darkshadow
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    12-15-2009 09:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JupiterSunsation View Post
    an employee referenced them today and I never heard of the list, he just emailed it to me.....and yes I laughed throughout the list!


    a few years ago a buddy and i memorized several of them and randomly when at the bar we would start saying them to people. no one got it but it was hilarious.
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    #6
    JupiterSunsation
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    12-15-2009 09:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 03darkshadow View Post
    a few years ago a buddy and i memorized several of them and randomly when at the bar we would start saying them to people. no one got it but it was hilarious.
    There are 9 PAGES of them.....very funny to recite at a bar!

    Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.


    You know there is a chick out there that would believe that one!
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    #7
    BBB725
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    12-15-2009 10:03 PM
    When Chuck Norris falls into the water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised
    Run until it sounds expensive
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    #8
    glassdave
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    12-15-2009 11:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 03darkshadow View Post
    chuck norris facts have been around for a long time, they are just as funny no matter how many times i read them.
    +1 and i always enjoy new ones
    Throttles- Cleveland Construction/Traffic Light Racing 377 Talon cat
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    #9
    HiZ
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    12-16-2009 02:09 AM
    Chuck Norris Makes Onions CRY!
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    #10
    Sea-Dated
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    12-16-2009 10:21 AM
    Oldies but goodies for sure.....
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    #11
    Tony
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    12-16-2009 10:22 AM
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails chuck-norris-was-here.jpg  
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    #12
    Griswald
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    12-16-2009 12:50 PM
    When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor slapped him. NOBODY slaps Chuck Norris!

    There's a poster of these facts in the bathroom of The Pier on Lake Travis. I about pizzed myself the first time I read it.
    Boat-less...
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    #13
    old377guy
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    12-16-2009 12:54 PM
    never ceases to crack me up
    People we meet in life are either a Blessing or a Lesson
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    #14
    Big Time
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    12-16-2009 01:10 PM
    Chuck Norris walked into a Burger King and ordered a Big Mac...and got one.
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    #15
    phragle
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    12-16-2009 01:29 PM
    Chuck Norris went to sea in a 14' bayliner, when he returned it was a 41' Apache and the seas had parted.

    That My friends, despite what you have read elsewhere, is the REAL story.
    P-4077 "The Swamp" S.B.Y.C. and Michigan medboat mothership
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    #16
    DollaBill
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    12-16-2009 03:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by big time View Post
    chuck norris walked into a burger king and ordered a big mac...and got one.
    lol!
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    #17
    cuda
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    12-16-2009 07:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by big time View Post
    chuck norris walked into a burger king and ordered a big mac...and got one.
    lol
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    #18
    clayinaustin
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    12-17-2009 03:49 PM
    Escape Chuck Norris

    Escape the house, but watch out – there is Chuck Norris in the room. Actually you cannot beat Chuck Norris – but give your best.

    In the second room you have to tazer Chuck Norris. Too funny!
    Last edited by clayinaustin; 12-17-2009 at 04:05 PM.
    If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck!
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    #19
    Sea-Dated
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    12-17-2009 04:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by clayinaustin View Post
    Escape Chuck Norris

    Escape the house, but watch out – there is Chuck Norris in the room. Actually you cannot beat Chuck Norris – but give your best.

    In the second room you have to tazer Chuck Norris. Too funny!
    I escaped Chuck Norris...... For now
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    #20
    DollaBill
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    12-17-2009 04:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Sea-Dated View Post
    I escaped Chuck Norris...... For now
    Nobody escapes Chuck Norris. He's waiting for you at home Matt
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