The ten com-man-ments.

[fund razor]

I was thinking about what I would tell a son. It seems like fathers may be skipping these things, on account of the behavior that we see in the world.

Here's what I came up with. Feel free to add. There is no cut and paste here. It was a personal excercise.

Instructions for being a man.

1) Handle your own business. Be discerning when making deals and discreet when executing them. If you make a mistake; suck it up. Never mind another man’s business. Don’t blame yourself or others. Solve creatively.

2) Never say anything on the phone or internet that you would not say to a man’s face. An impolite society is one that believes in the impunity of distance and separation. That distance can be closed in an instant, and there will always be men with less to lose than you. The impunity is a mirage.

3) Misrepresent nothing. Be comfortable as you. And wear that “you” like a monster. Whatever you bring, is different from what somebody else brings. Bring it confidently. Bullies prey on the unsure and uncommitted.

4) Never let a bully get away with it. There are other bad people; like cheats, thieves and con men. But the bully is the most insidious. Rather than steal money or property, the bully steals peace from others as an attempt to calm the storm in their own soul. Use any means necessary to stop and contain sociopath bullies who use any means necessary to manipulate and control others. They are truly the weak, and you will prevail.

5) Never criticize things that you don’t know about. (With apologies to Steve Martin.)

6) Pay your bills.

7) Be productive in whatever career is yours. Don’t drag down the rest of us.

8) Don’t compare yourself with others. There will always be lesser and greater men than you. If you compare well, you will be vain. If you compare poorly you will be bitter. Life is not fair. Use that to your avantage, not peril.

9) Never jump on a bandwagon unless it is the last ride out of a burning town and the band is good. Resist being driven by a willingness to believe the group. In fact, a loud and inflexibly resolute crowd is probably experiencing mass hysteria. Don’t let past agendas influence today’s reality. Think for yourself, and think in the present. Avoid loud and aggressive people.

10) It is not loaning a friend money that ruins a friendship. It’s them not paying you back. Don’t involve yourself in the financial affairs of your friend. If you must, make it a gift and write it off. To do otherwise is to become the keeper of your brother.

[afr]

i like number 8 best

cool post
do you mind if i send it on to my grand son

[fund razor]

Hey sure, thanks afr. Sending it to your grandson is about the highest compliment that I can think of.

I am sure that I left many things out, and I am sure that they were influenced by things around me. I suppose my dad, my faith, other documents over the years influence it. I am going to give it to my 21 year old daughter. She is already more of a "man" than many that I meet. Not really "mine" but mine since she was 3. She doesn't have my dna is all I am saying. She is mine.

[fund razor]

There is no question that this poem by Max Ehrmann was a primary influence on those com-man-ments. But it was off my head rather than the wall. (I have a framed copy that belonged to my late mom, and it hangs in my home.) Had to give it credit, seeing the influence now.

desiderata - by max ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

[Bobcat]

Good stuff John...too bad the illiterati will not get it (and I in no way am referring to limp wristed fops from VT or people who are married but live in their parents basement in Texas, or pedophiles from Collier County)

Dammit, I just violated all of the rules. Thank goodness for disclaimers !

[Buoy]

Good stuff John...too bad the illiterati will not get it (and I in no way am referring to limp wristed fops from VT or people who are married but live in their parents basement in Texas, or pedophiles from Collier County)

Dammit, I just violated all of the rules. Thank goodness for disclaimers !

Bobcat, you are a man of my thinking. I'll give you a call tomorrow.

[Davidmnc]

Great post John. Even if Bobcat likes it!

[fund razor]

Bobcat, you are a man of my thinking.

Because you "go native" when you smoke?

[MacGyver]

Because you "go native" when you smoke?

[Bobcat]

Bobcat, you are a man of my thinking. I'll give you a call tomorrow.

All right, and John, sorry I missed your call last night, I was watching a really crappy movie.

[fund razor]

All right, and John, sorry I missed your call last night, I was watching a really crappy movie.

That's ok. I set my phone in an unseen puddle of condensation and fried the battery overnight. People probably think that I am just not answering.

Radio Shack just opened. They might have one.

[fund razor]

They didn't. Verizon did. It was the last one. The guy looked at my phone like it had an earpiece funnel on a wire, bells on the front and a crank on the side.

Well... after all... it IS a 2006 phone. It was a hand-me-up from the kid.

[MacGyver]

Did you walk in with this...

[fund razor]

Did you walk in with this...

No, but you should see the one that I had in the late 80s. It was a bag with an antenna sticking out of it and a zipper to get the all in one handset with a coiled cord.

[Bobcat]

I used to have a blue plastic kids phone in my car, and when girls would drive up next to me at a stoplight I'd "answer It" and start talking while giving them a wink.....I met more girls like that by acting like the goofball that I am.

[Big Time]

Pay your bills....on time.

[Bobby Sheer]

Outstanding advice.

This should be given to every child.

Thank you

[MacGyver]

Always look at every situation with an open mind.

Never judge until you have all the actual facts.

[Tony]

I used to have a blue plastic kids phone in my car, and when girls would drive up next to me at a stoplight I'd "answer It" and start talking while giving them a wink.....I met more girls like that by acting like the goofball that I am.

Whenever Donzigirl wants to drive the boat, I pull this out of the cabin and hand it to her.

[DonziGirl]

I had something like that as a kid! (minus the phone). it fit over my lap... My mom used to let me "drive" while I was in the car. I loved it!


You know, I do like to drive the boat and all but I've learned this summer if I don't drive then i can drink and not care


Btw - Tony... thought you were safe since I haven't been on here in forever..